Clumsy-DP

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In Brighton there’s a nudist beach, 

for all to just go and be.

If your into taking your clothes off, 

so other folk can see.

It’s not my sort of pleasure, 

I’d rather cover up.

I’m getting on in years now, 

I’m not such a young pup.

I don’t like to go down there, 

I rather not walk by.

But it’s okay as there’s a pile of stones 

and I keep my eyes to the sky. 

But the other day I tripped right up, 

when I was collecting stones.

I had my eyes cast downward, 

then into that place I did roam.

When I looked up I had a shock, 

nude bodies was all I could see.

I shut my eyes so fast again, 

clumsy, clumsy me! 

Trauma Outcomes 

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The rumble of thunder surrounds me, 

it’s surfing over the swell.

That disaster will hit is inevitable, 

timing I just never can tell.

My hearts racing ten to the dozen, 

it’s out of sync with the clock.

What started this crescendo of madness, 

is hidden now and forgot.

Nerves are standing to attention, 

anxieties entered the room.

I need some space for reflection, 

before the big band goes boom.

But now the suns up and rising, 

butterflies cover the sky.

Happiness is pushing its way in, 

for reasons I don’t quite know why.

I shouldn’t drink it won’t suit me, 

I’m drunk on tea can’t you tell.

The waters calm and serene now, 

no sign of the earlier swell.

I sing like I’m Nancy Sinatra, 

the stage a place I am free.

I need to pull in theses emotions, 

so the person you see’s the real me.

Turn off the black and white television, 

sit down in an armchair of beige.

Practice taking on what is bad news, 

without getting into a rage.

I need to pull in my behaviour, 

work on my reactions for sure.

Understand that actions have consequences, 

before I make any more.

But that’s the thing with experience, 

it visits without being called.

I’m a product of what went before me, 

turning me into this ball.



Promises

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I promise to do my best to do my duty to God, to serve the Queen and help other people and keep the Brownie Guide law

Well that was a promise I broke, I’ve broken a few in my time and that is probably how it should be because we are always changing.  I’m not the young girl who made that promise all those years ago.  Or am I the woman who promised to worship and obey my ex-husband.  In fact, worshipping him went out the window not soon after he walked out the door.

We constantly change ourselves, our views and capabilities.  I told mum I would’t talk to strangers, I promised her I wouldn’t.  I absolutely love talking to strangers now and the stranger the better!  I mean, how would you ever make friends if you didn’t talk to strangers.

I think there should be a time span on promises.  I promise for the next year, or until I’m grown up and clever I won’t talk to strangers.  Oh and then maybe the apart from, like Santa when I sit on his lap, or the policeman when I get lost.  The more I think about it the more I think promises are ridiculous things invented to scare children!

Some I do keep, like if I promise not to tell a secret, I can be trusted with confidences, I will take them to the grave but as for the rest, I’m not really into promises 😉

Circles

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As we transition into winter, 

with harsher times in store.

We hold onto our memories, 

of summer more and more.

As blossoms close for winter, 

by falling on the ground.

We know with certain surety, 

they’ll be coming back around.

For our life is a big circle, 

the message here so clear.

Hold memories of your loved ones, 

so very, very near.

For they are just around the corner, 

only around the next bend.

We will see them on the other side, 

as nothing really ever ends.



The Medium

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I feel I have a female energy, 

she’s coming through with love.

She’s telling you she’s with you here, 

not somewhere up above.

She’s telling me she watches you, 

this week she watched you dance.

She’s happy that your trying now, 

and giving life a chance.

Her death was so unexpected, 

she knows it was a shock.

She’s come to tell you life goes on, 

for her, the other sides unlocked.

She used to wear an emerald ring, 

you keep it by your bed.

She saw you pick it up last night, 

she heard those words you said.

I’m feeling her emotions, 

she’s washing them through me.

She’s sending all the love she can, 

she wants to help you see.

That she hasn’t gone that far away, 

just stepped through the door.

And now she’s getting stronger, 

she’s with you more and more.

She’s asking that I thank you, 

for the love you gave in life.

She says she was so very proud, 

to be your darling wife.

She sees you with the children, 

when your having fun.

She knows it’s been so very hard, 

for them to loose their mum.

She visits them at night time, 

when their fast asleep.

She gives them gentle kisses, 

with more memories to keep.

I feel she wants to tell you, 

she won’t ever go away.

She’ll always be right with you, 

until she meets you there one day.

So speak out loud to her each day, 

she hears you when you do.

Please know she watches you daily, 

she sends so much love to you.

She’s talking about a candle, 

the one that just won’t stay alight.

She’s telling me she blows it out, 

as you light it every night.

She’s a very good communicator, 

as her love is very strong.

She’s saying you didn’t need to visit me, 

because you had her all along.



Tracks

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I have travelled so far along this train track, 

each station I’ve left and I’m not turning back.

Through field we speed up and cities slow down,

around me the packages of love I have found.

I’ve been on this train, for most of my life,

since when I first walked and bumped into strife.

For now I sit forward, but I’ve sat facing back,

my eyes cast downward, along rusty old tracks.

Those tracks of my years, in minutes and days,

they are rolling on by and yet not going away. 

The conductor walks through, at intervals now,

he knows where I’m going, just does somehow.

No, I don’t need a ticket, this ride is for free,

the long journey I am travelling, is only for me.

The carriage I’m travelling is empty, no door,

until I reach the conclusion, I won’t know for sure.

 

Original – DP

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I like to think I’m an original, but can that really be true, as everyone I have ever met, heard of, or read about is somehow engrained on my soul.  They become part of me, part of my thinking and understanding.  So can I truly be original when I carry so many others along with me.

I am made up of those I have loved, those I respect and those that have harmed me, they are like tattoos on my being.  They reappear in memories and wave from the future as a warning or confirmation I am heading the right way.

Great writers, poets, thinkers, orators and philosophers inspire and teach us and they become us.  When we listen to or read something that sits well with us, we gladly invite it in, we give it time and we find it has comes to live with us, it remains.

I am not original but made up of those I admire, those that have taught me lessons and those who have shone a light on my path.

 

Stepping off the Train

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Earlier today I wrote about the observer inside, in todays Nature Lessons post.  I’m still in search of this observer, well holding onto them for longer than a few minutes anyway.  I think I probably am the observer, well my true authentic self anyway, because when I’m connected it feels like home.

It feels peaceful and all knowing, my breath slows right down and I am somewhere not connected to my physical body and yet deep down inside of it.

Could it be the portal to the universe is in fact inside of us and not on some far off horizon.  I think we probably do have all the answers but somehow have become split off from them in our attempt to ride this train we are on, the train taking us through life.  The great train that twists and turns, stopping at major junctions along the way.  Sometime we need to change, sit in another carriage and sometimes we sit and wait patiently for the engines to start rolling again, whatever we decide, the journey never seems to end and our search continues.

Only when we put away the ego, will we find the observer, the one who hides and waits patiently behind the false self we have created.

Times I spend in meditation and silence are special, I pause and open up to myself.  I am connected, for however short the period of time is, during those moments, I feel I am at one with the universe.