None of us can get through this life alone, we are not made that way. We are born into a family group and from there we spread out into the world and join other groups. We make friends along the way, special people we want to be with, that give us something and get something back from us. Real friendship is a blessing, these people we love as we love our family, for some who have experienced difficult upbringings these are the only family they may ever have.
So what is a friend. To me a friend is someone who understands us and likes what they see, friends look beyond the outer shell and understand the soul of us. Our friends champion us, they will us on and help us get there. There is no jealously or competition in friendship, we want and wish for our friends to be happy.
I’m not like all my friends, we don’t have to think the same or say the same we just have to love each other. My oldest friend I met at 4, I knocked on her door and asked if she wanted to come to my party. I was new on the estate, mum had just divorced and we had moved back to London where she could work in the city. I told her ‘it won’t be a very big party because I haven’t got a daddy’. Well she came and we have been great friends ever since. We rarely see each other, a couple of times a year and apart from the odd email and text we are not in contact a lot but we love each other dearly. When my mother died she was the first person I phoned, she loved my mum very much too. She was a rock through those dark days, along with other friends and I don’t know how my sister and I would have got through without them.
I’m not really like any of my friends, we are all different and that’s good. One friend I met through work, we worked in a children’s home where violence and aggression were a daily occurrence. We understood the children were traumatised and their behaviour was just a communication of their emotions and early life experiences but it didn’t stop us getting hurt on occasion. I knew this girl was always behind me, she always had my back and me hers, so it was only natural we would become good friends. We have been friends ever since and we continue to support and have each others backs. Funny we are nothing alike, we like different music, choose different places to go and have different interests but experience holds us together.
I have a friend who always leaves flowers on my kitchen table for me to return to when I have been away, she has recently started a blog on here and knows who she is and that I love her dearly.
I haven’t mentioned family, those very special and wonderful friends, because they deserve a special post just for them, but my son and sister are my best friends and I still talk to my mum daily and know she listens.
Friendships can be transient, people come into our lives for the time we need them, they complete the task and move on, it might be we were supposed to do something for them. I think friends are probably planned before we come here, some of these people we have known before in other lifetimes, that’s why we recognise them.
I am so blessed with the friends I have, those that have been and those yet to come.