Dreaming

IMG_6833

When I see you in my dreams at night,

why do I just take that for granted.

In those dreams I find you within,

there’s always a message that’s planted.

And waking in the morning light,

symbols floating through my mind.

I try to go back into that slumber,

to that beauty that’s so hard to find.

Is it your love that create my dreams,

is this the way you talk to me now.

I’m bewildered by the concept,

that you live in my dreams somehow.

~

lizalizaskysaregrey©2018

Traces of You

I trace my hand across the page

of that book you loved so much.

Trace my fingers through the lace,

of the scarf you used to touch.

Trace the outline of your face,

on the glass of the picture frame.

Trace my fingers through the mist,

as I’m still spelling out your name.

You left a trace, no so much more,

on that day when you left my side.

I trace a teardrop down my face,

it’s this grief that I just can’t hide.

~

Trace

lizalizaskysaregrey©2017

Visit

I’m screaming at the walls, 

but I still sit here alone.

Tell me when you’re coming, 

I need you back at home.

Surprise me if you want to, 

I’ll manage it if you like.

I’m expecting you to visit me, 

and I’m hoping for tonight.

You left without arrangements, 

just passed without a word.

I’m watching closely for you, 

and it’s probably absurd.

But I’m lonely here without you,

everything is just so black.

Could you please just drop by,

just talk and I’ll talk back.

I’m hoping that you’ll hear me,

maybe show me that you do.

If you want to see some others,

I’ll be sure they are here too.

The walls are now just speechless,

they’ve enough of being white.

Tell me that you’re coming please, 

you’ll visit with me tonight.

~

lizalizaskysaregrey©2017

When I am Gone

When I am gone from here

and you remember me.

I’m hoping that it will be

in things you cannot see.

I’d like to leave you riches,

I’m doubting that I will.

Except richness of memories,

those I hope to fulfil.

~

When I leave this place,

I’m leaving you my love.

That which will continue,

from the heavens above.

My love will last forever,

finer than anything more.

My love for you is precious,

I have so much in store.

~

When I’ve been gone a while,

move on with your life.

I’ll be walking with you,

in happiness and strife.

I’ll ask you not to mourn,

because I’ll still be there.

When you want me call me,

call me from anywhere.

~

When my face is fading,

as you try to bring it near.

Know that it won’t matter,

of that I’m very clear.

My face is just the physical,

I’ll then be flying high.

See me in the daily things,

I’ll always be near by.

~

lizalizaskysaregrey©2017

 

An Empty Space

Christmas is never the same after you loose someone you love. You go through the motions, you know you have to for those here you still have, but it won’t ever be the same. There are moments you stop, maybe unpacking the decorations, you find yourself sitting staring into space.  You are remembering Christmas when you were together, when everything was how it was meant to be.  Maybe it’s that old Christmas film or carol being played again, something that sparks memories.

You can still enjoy yourself, still celebrate with the people you have around you, but there is always a space in your heart.  There is a space at every table and every party, a void that cannot be filled.  But you smile, because you know that’s what they would have wanted, you raise a glass and say their name in a toast. Christmas comes and goes and they are still not here, it is a painful reminder of another Christmas without them.

You find yourself buying things they liked, stand transfixed in the shopping isle when you spot something.  You look at other families and want to tell them to make the most of the Christmas they have because you never know how many you have in front of you.  You watch the children, the excitement and know that this time is for them.  You push you sadness down into the pit of your stomach only to resurface when you are alone with your thoughts, you feel a responsibility towards happiness, you can’t let the side down.

You put up that last card they sent you again, light a candle by their photo and send a prayer.  My friend leaves a brandy by the fire, I bring an extra seat to the table, we all have our own rituals that help us through the season.

Every day without someone you love is difficult, some harder than others and we learn to manage.  We never forget them but we cope, life goes on and we know we have to live in the real world, but Christmas, when we are constantly reminded of the joy and love of family can be the most difficult time of the year.

To anyone missing a loved one this Christmas, I’m sending you love, you see I understand. I’m wishing you the best Christmas you can possibly muster and hope like every other day of the year, our Christmases, get easier.

Faded – DP (2)

Those silhouettes in the frame are faded now,

nearly out of sight.

Only a mixture of greys today,

where once they were black and white.

The necklace you wore on your wedding day,

just a pile of pearls.

I remember it hung round your tiny neck,

catching in your curls.

I see your handwriting on paper,

but can’t hear a voice anymore.

Listening to your favourite opera,

while focussed on keeping score.

Your fading out of my life dear,

while I’m trying to hold on tight.

Please visit with a small reminder,

come into my dreams tonight.

*

Daily Prompt – Faded

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016