From the Heart
When I see you in my dreams at night,
why do I just take that for granted.
In those dreams I find you within,
there’s always a message that’s planted.
And waking in the morning light,
symbols floating through my mind.
I try to go back into that slumber,
to that beauty that’s so hard to find.
Is it your love that create my dreams,
is this the way you talk to me now.
I’m bewildered by the concept,
that you live in my dreams somehow.
~
lizalizaskysaregrey©2018
I trace my hand across the page
of that book you loved so much.
Trace my fingers through the lace,
of the scarf you used to touch.
Trace the outline of your face,
on the glass of the picture frame.
Trace my fingers through the mist,
as I’m still spelling out your name.
You left a trace, no so much more,
on that day when you left my side.
I trace a teardrop down my face,
it’s this grief that I just can’t hide.
~
lizalizaskysaregrey©2017
I’m screaming at the walls,
but I still sit here alone.
Tell me when you’re coming,
I need you back at home.
Surprise me if you want to,
I’ll manage it if you like.
I’m expecting you to visit me,
and I’m hoping for tonight.
You left without arrangements,
just passed without a word.
I’m watching closely for you,
and it’s probably absurd.
But I’m lonely here without you,
everything is just so black.
Could you please just drop by,
just talk and I’ll talk back.
I’m hoping that you’ll hear me,
maybe show me that you do.
If you want to see some others,
I’ll be sure they are here too.
The walls are now just speechless,
they’ve enough of being white.
Tell me that you’re coming please,
you’ll visit with me tonight.
~
lizalizaskysaregrey©2017
When I am gone from here
and you remember me.
I’m hoping that it will be
in things you cannot see.
I’d like to leave you riches,
I’m doubting that I will.
Except richness of memories,
those I hope to fulfil.
~
When I leave this place,
I’m leaving you my love.
That which will continue,
from the heavens above.
My love will last forever,
finer than anything more.
My love for you is precious,
I have so much in store.
~
When I’ve been gone a while,
move on with your life.
I’ll be walking with you,
in happiness and strife.
I’ll ask you not to mourn,
because I’ll still be there.
When you want me call me,
call me from anywhere.
~
When my face is fading,
as you try to bring it near.
Know that it won’t matter,
of that I’m very clear.
My face is just the physical,
I’ll then be flying high.
See me in the daily things,
I’ll always be near by.
~
lizalizaskysaregrey©2017
Christmas is never the same after you loose someone you love. You go through the motions, you know you have to for those here you still have, but it won’t ever be the same. There are moments you stop, maybe unpacking the decorations, you find yourself sitting staring into space. You are remembering Christmas when you were together, when everything was how it was meant to be. Maybe it’s that old Christmas film or carol being played again, something that sparks memories.
You can still enjoy yourself, still celebrate with the people you have around you, but there is always a space in your heart. There is a space at every table and every party, a void that cannot be filled. But you smile, because you know that’s what they would have wanted, you raise a glass and say their name in a toast. Christmas comes and goes and they are still not here, it is a painful reminder of another Christmas without them.
You find yourself buying things they liked, stand transfixed in the shopping isle when you spot something. You look at other families and want to tell them to make the most of the Christmas they have because you never know how many you have in front of you. You watch the children, the excitement and know that this time is for them. You push you sadness down into the pit of your stomach only to resurface when you are alone with your thoughts, you feel a responsibility towards happiness, you can’t let the side down.
You put up that last card they sent you again, light a candle by their photo and send a prayer. My friend leaves a brandy by the fire, I bring an extra seat to the table, we all have our own rituals that help us through the season.
Every day without someone you love is difficult, some harder than others and we learn to manage. We never forget them but we cope, life goes on and we know we have to live in the real world, but Christmas, when we are constantly reminded of the joy and love of family can be the most difficult time of the year.
To anyone missing a loved one this Christmas, I’m sending you love, you see I understand. I’m wishing you the best Christmas you can possibly muster and hope like every other day of the year, our Christmases, get easier.
The echo of your love so strong,
keeps us here,
still moving on.
The echo of your love so real,
silent touches,
are what we feel.
The echo of your love lives on,
in each of us,
keeps us strong.
lizalizaskysaregrey©2016
Daily Prompt – echo
Those silhouettes in the frame are faded now,
nearly out of sight.
Only a mixture of greys today,
where once they were black and white.
The necklace you wore on your wedding day,
just a pile of pearls.
I remember it hung round your tiny neck,
catching in your curls.
I see your handwriting on paper,
but can’t hear a voice anymore.
Listening to your favourite opera,
while focussed on keeping score.
Your fading out of my life dear,
while I’m trying to hold on tight.
Please visit with a small reminder,
come into my dreams tonight.
*
Daily Prompt – Faded
lizalizaskysaregrey©2016
I hear the echoes of you voice
in nearly everything I do
and when I’m undecided,
I’ll refer the choice to you.
There is reflection of your beauty
in everything I see.
I feel your touch another way,
soft and caressing me.
I remember the lessons taught to me,
I’m still learning as I go,
but found them really helpful,
which really goes to show.
You knew I’d need you when you left,
so left memories for me.
Your energy still lingers here,
lights up everything I see.
And then you know I feel your love,
when I’m sitting still.
Suppose you send it through me,
you have the strongest will.
I will never forget you
because you never really left.
We continue now another way,
I think we’ve passed the test.
Of knowing love continues,
transforms but never dies.
Love is all around us now,
we just can’t see it with our eyes.
*
lizalizaskysaregrey©2016
Have you been here before little one, I think to myself as I watch you play. Lost in your own world as you sit in the corner of the room with your toys. The sun steams through the window upon you, as if lighting you up for the world, but you my darling, are lost in your imaginings and I am impossible to see.
I try to connect to your thoughts, link in with your world but it is impossible to reach that place in childhood that is just too innocent and wonderful for adults to enter. The cat lifts her head from the sofa and looks at me, I must have disturbed her but you my lovely one, are still lost in the wonder of your toys.
I want to cry as I hold you in my sight, my love for you being so strong. I feel a tear upon my face but I don’t brush it away, letting it fall into your world. I think this love will last forever, I feel it throughout my being. From the moment you were born, the love I felt for you became part of me, it defines me, it explains my very existence.
I roll a marble across the floor in your direction, it rolls to the left of you and stops. I see you momentarily glance at it before resuming play. You are not interested in the marble today. I sit in my chair in the bay of the window and watch you, I have all the time in the world.
Your play is disturbed by the sound of the ice cream truck, playing its tune as it turns the corner of the street. You stand for a moment, coming closer to the window, to watch the truck go past. Do you remember your first ice cream, sitting as you did in your high chair with chocolate ice cream everywhere? Oh how we laughed, there are pictures of it somewhere, your chocolate kisses all over my face. We must get granny to sort them out for you, they will make you laugh.
As if by magic granny enters the room, your warm smile greeting her. You throw your doll to the corner and run into grannies arms, to be picked up and swirled around. The cat lifts itself and stretches, it’s dinnertime and she too wants to be noticed.
In grannies arm you head to the mantle piece to look at the photographs displayed. Granny gently touches my picture as she does every day and tells you again about your mummy who loved you very much. You listen again as you do every day and kiss her eyes and cheeks. Although she is smiling we can both see the sadness in grannies eyes as she talks of me, keeping me alive in the memories.
Granny does not notice you as you point to the chair in the window I am sitting upon but I do.
lizalizaskysaregrey©2016
Your key is hanging on the hook,
redundant and unused.
And on the vacant seat you sat,
the cushion is confused.
The records on the turntable,
yet silence fills the air.
Your cup and saucer on the shelf,
brimming over with despair.
As I wonder through each room,
your waiting there for me.
Your all around this home of ours,
your in the air I breathe.
That day you turned away from me,
you left a part of you behind.
For you still walk throughout my days,
as a shadow of my mind.
*
lizalizaskysaregrey©2016
lizalizaskysaregrey 