Tag: sadness

Reflection in the Mirror

lizaaitken

I looked right into the mirror today,

asked that my cares just go away.

Looked for what I thought I knew,

asked if I could just see the truth.

I watched the tear roll from the eye,

saw in great depth my silent cry.

The path it took along my face,

so easy for my finger to trace.

It followed lines that tell my tale,

when I gained and where I failed.

The etchings on my face you see,

are like those circles on the trees.

They tell the stories of my life,

the love and laughter also strife.

I’ll get more I know that’s true,

I’m hoping they won’t be so blue.

I’d rather those around the eye,

those of laughs, of joyful surprise.

But I will take what I am due,

I’m sure that I can see it through.

As after all is said and done,

I’ll only be ‘me’ for just this once.

I may come back I don’t know,

but no longer as me for she will go.

~

lizalizaskysaregrey©2017

Without Trust

lizaaitken

I won’t tell you what’s wrong with me,

as I don’t trust you to care.

You’ll give those standard answers,

the ones you have prepared.

I don’t think I’d tell you anything,

of emotions that run deep.

I know you would not manage well,

it may interrupt your sleep.

You see, I know that it’s all one sided,

and it doesn’t work both ways.

You only want to hear from me,

on the brightest of my days.

When I can give all my time to you,

and treat you like a king.

Hang on to your every word,

meet your every whim.

So we shall go on pretending,

that everything is grand.

It can’t be any other way,

you’ll never understand.

So I won’t tell you why I’m so sad,

I don’t think you want to know.

Our relationships so pointless now,

as it has nowhere else to go.

~

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016

What is the Point?

lizaaitken

Sometimes we ask ourselves what is the point, everything appears futile, pointless, we loose all motivation, we’re down on ourselves.  At times like these I try and remind myself, it’s okay to have these feelings as long as they don’t become a larger part of who I am.

It’s important to recognise our feelings, allow them in and sit with them if we are going to be able to understand them and move them on.  Life is full of ups and downs and we have to take the rough with the smooth.  If was life was full of joy all the time how would we know when to celebrate, how would we know what joy feels like.

We have to believe that all things will pass, look back and know that nothing ever came to us without reason.  Everything that happens is destined, it’s all part of the greater plan and sometimes that requires a bit of a shake up.  This is the point you see, the point we were questioning and the answer is we need to be exactly where we are right now, because only now leads us into tomorrow.

~ Liza

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016

A Shadow on my Mind

lizaaitken

Your key is hanging on the hook, 

redundant and unused.

And on the vacant seat you sat, 

the cushion is confused.

The records on the turntable, 

yet silence fills the air.

Your cup and saucer on the shelf, 

brimming over with despair.

As I wonder through each room,

your waiting there for me.

Your all around this home of ours, 

your in the air I breathe.

That day you turned away from me, 

you left a part of you behind.

For you still walk throughout my days, 

as a shadow of my mind.

*

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016





Dawn

lizaaitken

At break of dawn you leave me, I’m alone again so soon

Once more the vacant feeling, spills into the room.

As the night turns into morning, you bid me farewell 

That you ever were truly here, is impossible to tell

That’s how my life is working now, I have you while asleep 

As daytime comes you go again, into my memories deep

I won’t complain out loud my love, I want you to return

I need you close at night with me, while grief I try to learn.

One day I understand dear, I’ll have to sleep alone

When I get a little stronger, understand the empty home

I’m not asking for eternity, but please stay a little while

It’s only in my sleeping time, that you bring me back my smile

Ravaged by Storms

lizaaitken

IMG_4812

 Sorrow prepares you for joy.  It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter.  It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place.  It pulls up rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow.  Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place –    Rumi

I believe in this quote from Rumi the 13th-century Persian poet and Sufi mystic.  I believe as it helps me face my challenges head on, it helps me survive obstacles that can sometimes feel insurmountable.  I don’t welcome challenges but I accept them, I acknowledge them and let them sit with me until they pass through.  Only then can I see and feel what they have left in their wake, only then can I begin to understand them and build from them.   I think of myself as a tree ravaged by the winter storms, uncovered and naked only to be clothed again in spring as I begin again with the warmth of a new day.

Sending Love

lizaaitken

IMG_0490

I’m sending love across at you, it’s painfully clear to see.
That you need help, to be wrapped up, by someone more than me.

Your terrified of looking up, your posture tells me so.
I guess your really struggling and wanting to let go.

We’re in the doctors waiting room, and there’s another three, 
I hope they call you in soon, you can go in front of me.

I want to cry at what I feel, your pain is clearly deep.
Your eyes, your face, the whole of you, it makes me want to weep.

I pray that you will smile again, I pray you will survive, 
I know this isn’t any way for one to be alive.

I hope the doctors helpful, that he doesn’t send you off,
without the building blocks you need, to hold yourself aloft.

I wrote this after visiting the doctors this morning.  I saw this guy there and my heart went out to him.  I was thinking if everybody who reads this attempt at poetry sends him a bit of love it might just help.  If it creates a picture in your mind, then maybe with love, it can create healing and recovery for him.   I live in Brighton, Sussex so imagine him there and send your love.  Thanks x