lizalizaskysaregrey

Sleeplessness

April 4, 2018April 5, 2018 lizaaitken

Night falls and darkness comes,

cars slow on the road below.

Shadows making pictures now,

for the walls to put on a show.

My monkey brain is shouting,

so much louder than the day.

As much as I want to go to sleep,

this buzz will not fade away.

Just an hour ago I was tired out,

I could hardly keep my eyes open.

The thing I asked as I retired,

was one night with sleep unbroken.

Now my legs just want to dance,

like those shadows on the walls.

Ideas I had and somehow lost,

it’s just now I find I’ll recall.

I turn my head and turn it back,

as I need those pillows cold.

Throw the bedclothes on the floor,

it’s not that I’m being bold.

Oh sleeplessness I hate you so much,

I’ll never welcome you in.

Perhaps I’ll make a milky drink,

no maybe I’ll go for the gin!

I’m guessing you know when I wrote this!

A Scary Poem

April 4, 2018 lizaaitken

It’s with silent trepidation,

I climb slowly to the top.

Warning creeks behind me,

will my heart just stop.

The turning of my stomach,

I’m feeling every churn.

A cold hand on my shoulder,

is tempting me to turn.

Now my hands upon the latch,

as if it’s in suspension.

A heaviness across my brow,

displays all this tension.

I cannot press my finger down,

to open up the lock.

Beyond the door there’s terror,

I cannot take a shock.

I close my eyes and turn again,

just in case their there.

And very gently step down now,

feeling for the stair.

My hand is upon the bannister,

my heart went on before.

When I hear a gentle creaking,

the opening of the door.

Daily Prompt – Churn

That was certainly ‘full on’ couple of days, that big blue moon I mean. I went from happiness to despair and back again. I can be affected by the moon, I recognise and prepare for it, but this last one hit me for six.

On Monday I woke up feeling an emotional wreck, tearful and despondent. I couldn’t see much good in life. I opened my arms and embraced hopelessness fully and without question. Life was pointless, I was pointless and anything out there in the future just wasn’t worth it.

I spent the day going from one disaster to the next. I burnt toast, opened the door and the heavens opened, got lost and ran out of fuel. I didn’t want to talk to anyone and didn’t have anyone to talk to. It rained all day, for the umpteenth day that was, and the plants drowned.

Do you recognise this day, have you visited?

Yesterday I woke up singing, nothing had happened but my world had changed overnight. The sun was shining, the plants didn’t look that bad and I had things to do, people to meet and places to go. Everything went right, starting with my hair and outfit and moving onto everything else. I laughed with the people I met, finished projects and got new leads. People warmed my heart and made me feel loved. To put it simply, life couldn’t be better.

That moon is powerful but I think there’s so more going on. I constantly see double digits, my dreams are wild and my intuition is on overdrive. I think I’m being prepared for something. I’m releasing and letting go, the tears are cleansing, cathartic and restoring. Tears are the weeping of old wounds, healing from the depths within.

Are any of you getting this, are you experiencing similar? Are you managing the changes that are happening or are you immune to it? Is it necessary for growth, is it happening to all of us. Do some people just not notice or are they being left behind?

I know it’s crazy but it’s my kind of crazy now. I’m rolling with it, I’m trusting that there’s something wonderful to come. Today’s another sunny day and any clouds are just full of hope.

I watch the moon daily, I live by the sea and often stand on the shore watching the tides, sun and moon. I’ve been sun gazing too, that’s another story. The sun feeds me and the moon washes me, they are necessary to my growth, just as they are to the plants and everything else.

It’s all just cycles, I’m in a cycle, I’m moving through and so are you. Love to hear what you think of my craziness 🙂

Roller Coaster

April 4, 2018 lizaaitken

Strapped in, very slowly at first,

we start to climb up high.

My stomach’s holding butterflies,

I really don’t know why.

I’m seeing the peak above me,

the rest cannot be found.

I know that when I reach there,

I will go crashing down.

That’s my life on a roller coaster,

always another drop.

I’ll reach the peaks of happiness,

somethings going to stop.

All the rides are turbulent now,

as none are on the flat.

If there’s one thing to remember,

I have to hang on to my hat.

We all take different places here,

on very similar rides.

Hitting highs and reaching lows,

there’s others here beside.

We recognise those spirals now,

after traveling for so long.

But preparation doesn’t help,

it’s more about staying strong.

We know it’s in the planning,

this crazy ride we live.

I wish they’d put the breaks on,

as something’s got to give.

lizalizaskysaregrey©️2018

Weather

April 2, 2018 lizaaitken

The rain is playing an awful dirge,

it’s as if it senses my mood.

I’ve told it enough to sling it’s hook,

not caring if I sound rude.

The winters gone on far too long,

grey skies and pouring rain.

It needs it’s marching orders now,

as it’s really become a pain.

So who I pray is friends with the sun,

can you call a favour or two.

Do tell her that she’s welcome to stay,

if she really does listen to you.

Tell her that we find her so radiant,

that’s truly said from the heart.

And ask her to bring blue skies along,

tomorrow would be a good start.

My Strange Travels

April 1, 2018April 1, 2018 lizaaitken

I visit a parallel world in my dreams,

a small voice at the back of her mind.

I’m sure it’s my parallel self that speaks,

when I think things I’d not be inclined.

I travel across there while I’m asleep,

and I’m starting to feel quite at home.

She’s a life so similar yet different,

it’s like here with a fork in the road.

As I travel through time to see myself,

I’m as sure she can come visit me.

So I give time to those whispers I hear now,

I’m listening out for myself you see.

My other worlds not a strange place,

but a new place I’m getting to know.

I’m a very small spark of inspiration,

a whisper on a frequency that’s low.

Sorry, it was the silence…

March 27, 2018March 27, 2018 lizaaitken

I’m sorry I’ve not been around and sorry I’ve not kept up with your posts. I thought I best try and explain myself and if you know me you’ll know in writing I’m trying to understand myself too.

I love writing, I’m not brilliant, but it’s my therapy and some people seem to like it. I pour my heart out, I’m an open book and show my vulnerabilities. I’m okay with that, I’m the same in person, I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I think with all that went on last year, my moves, my coming to terms with what was happening in my life, I needed time out. I started to notice silence, the silence you find when you let your thoughts drift. Writing for me has always been about formulating my thoughts and understanding myself, but I think I reached a place in which I needed silence more than I needed thought or understanding. Silence gave me a greater awareness of myself, silence is awareness, a natural teacher and worth listening to.

So I got myself a secondhand bike, christened it Tonto and cycled and cycled. I got up every morning before sunrise and cycled out to capture the sun rising from the horizon. I rode in the opposite direction at the end of the day to catch it setting again, I became obsessed with the sun, the sea and of course nature.

I wanted to write but I couldn’t, I couldn’t think of what to say. It’s hard to explain as I’ve never really thought about what to write, I just do it, but I reached a place in which I felt anything I had to say would be for the point of it and without meaning. That probably doesn’t make much sense, it didn’t to me but that’s how it was.

I did do other stuff, I took a course, so did lots of reading. I did write for my course assignments but again felt my heart wasn’t totally in it. I passed anyway so I’m now a qualified clinical hypnotherapist, not to be a hypnotherapist as such I’ve decided, but to incorporate it into my work.

I got to know my dad too, I’d known him for years but this past few months I really got to know him and I’d say he got to know me too. I value that time, we never know how much time we have do we and although my dad is 80 years young, he’s still 80 and says he doesn’t want to live to the great age his grandfather did. He talks about exiting stage left if he ever becomes dependant on anybody, so I’m really pleased we had this time together, I value it immensely.

Here I am today apologising for not being around or keeping up with your work. I hope to, but know there’s so much I’ve missed that I couldn’t possibly keep up with. I felt guilty not being here, as I’ve come to class some of you as friends, it felt like letting my friends down. But I hope you might understand, I just needed that time out.

I’m not going to promise to write daily or even weekly, I just want to ease myself back in now that the time feels right. I’ve two blogs as some of you know and will be focusing on getting to know them both again.

I hope to see you soon and catch up with what you have been doing xx

Procrastination

March 27, 2018 lizaaitken

*Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle – Lincoln*

Procrastination is my middle name,

see I always put things off.

The reason is my perfectionism,

as I worry others may scoff.

My ideas can be quite brilliant,

although I do say so myself.

A multitude of them in my life,

so I’ll need a bigger shelf.

This is where I store my dreams,

just until they take shape.

But then I have so many sparks,

so a choice I have to make.

Which of them is the brightest,

mistakes can’t get in my way.

If you know me and you read this,

I hear what you’re going to say!

I wrote this poem while procrastinating again this morning. I laughed out loud while writing it, as it’s so utterly me. I often lose myself in writing while procrastinating, that’s funny too as I know some who procrastinate instead of writing!

Inefficient…

March 26, 2018March 26, 2018 lizaaitken

I’m certainly inefficient today,

ineffective and quite sad.

I rose from my bed feeling poorly,

it’s left me feeling mad.

I’d so much planned for today,

things I put on the shelf.

Saving them up as I often do,

for a time I’m all by myself.

I’m certainly inefficient today,

it’s a day that’s lost in time.

A waste of the daylight hours,

my god just look at the time.

I’ll write a list for tomorrow,

all that I need to get done.

As until I conquer my inefficiency,

I won’t have time to have fun!!