Sorry, it was the silence…

 

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I’m sorry I’ve not been around and sorry I’ve not kept up with your posts. I thought I best try and explain myself and if you know me you’ll know in writing I’m trying to understand myself too.

I love writing, I’m not brilliant, but it’s my therapy and some people seem to like it. I pour my heart out, I’m an open book and show my vulnerabilities. I’m okay with that, I’m the same in person, I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I think with all that went on last year, my moves, my coming to terms with what was happening in my life, I needed time out. I started to notice silence, the silence you find when you let your thoughts drift. Writing for me has always been about formulating my thoughts and understanding myself, but I think I reached a place in which I needed silence more than I needed thought or understanding. Silence gave me a greater awareness of myself, silence is awareness, a natural teacher and worth listening to.

So I got myself a secondhand bike, christened it Tonto and cycled and cycled. I got up every morning before sunrise and cycled out to capture the sun rising from the horizon. I rode in the opposite direction at the end of the day to catch it setting again, I became obsessed with the sun, the sea and of course nature.

I wanted to write but I couldn’t, I couldn’t think of what to say. It’s hard to explain as I’ve never really thought about what to write, I just do it, but I reached a place in which I felt anything I had to say would be for the point of it and without meaning. That probably doesn’t make much sense, it didn’t to me but that’s how it was.

I did do other stuff, I took a course, so did lots of reading. I did write for my course assignments but again felt my heart wasn’t totally in it. I passed anyway so I’m now a qualified clinical hypnotherapist, not to be a hypnotherapist as such I’ve decided, but to incorporate it into my work.

I got to know my dad too, I’d known him for years but this past few months I really got to know him and I’d say he got to know me too. I value that time, we never know how much time we have do we and although my dad is 80 years young, he’s still 80 and says he doesn’t want to live to the great age his grandfather did. He talks about exiting stage left if he ever becomes dependant on anybody, so I’m really pleased we had this time together, I value it immensely.

Here I am today apologising for not being around or keeping up with your work. I hope to, but know there’s so much I’ve missed that I couldn’t possibly keep up with. I felt guilty not being here, as I’ve come to class some of you as friends, it felt like letting my friends down. But I hope you might understand, I just needed that time out.

I’m not going to promise to write daily or even weekly, I just want to ease myself back in now that the time feels right. I’ve two blogs as some of you know and will be focusing on getting to know them both again.

I hope to see you soon and catch up with what you have been doing xx

lizalizaskysaregrey©2018

 

Beautiful People

I’ve met some beautiful people the last few years, more beautiful than I could have imagined and some of these I haven’t even met. Some of these people will be reading this now, I adore you.

There’s a lot of negativity about the internet, social media and relationships we think we make there. I agree with a lot of it but not as much as I once did because I have really  met some beautiful people. Now I’m not naive, I don’t take in all the clap trap banded about on the internet, in fact a large percentage of it is rubbish but I have also learnt from it, been introduced to concepts and philosophies I might not have otherwise encountered.

I think it’s mainly blogging that has brought me to this conclusion, because some of the people I have been lucky enough to meet through the blogging community have the biggest open hearts. Their art, whether it be the written word, poetry, photography or anything else speaks of their passion, they show their vulnerabilities and speak their truth, these people have found their voice.

I started blogging to cope with grief, it was my channel. I was inconspicuous and nobody knew who I was, so it was safe. I had a few followers, which were friends and family so it was easy to be myself. I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve but not quite as openly. I showed my vulnerability and through writing started to recover.

Along the way I got a few followers, it grew and I now have quite a lot in terms of my initial expectations. I started to talk to people, found we had things in common, was encouraged by their thoughtful comments and uplifted by their outlook on life. I’ve swapped emails, telephone numbers and broken my own rule of not allowing anyone I’ve not been in the same room as on my Facebook feed.

I’ve met a couple of people who I’ve met through the internet in person and now consider them good friends, next week I’m meeting another and I might just get down to North Devon to share a scone with another if I’m lucky. My days of thinking that internet relationships are dodgy are behind me. I’m not stupid, I know there are a lot of people out for themselves, probably half my followers, don’t really follow me, only clicked follow so I would follow back, only like so I might look at their stuff but there are a few special people out there that I am privileged to have met.

Reading what others have to say has lifted me, wonderful thought provoking posts that have helped me along my journey. The incredible art of the photographers I follow has inspired me greatly, cooks and health experts teach me, all of these brighten my days. These special people I have met through the blogging community are as real as anyone I’ve met and the reason I know that is because I experience their hearts through their work, hear their voices and see through their eyes. I feel for them and laugh with them while they laugh at themselves, their laughter heals me, it makes me whole.

So yes I know the internet is full of a lot of darkness but you my friends bring light to my day.

lizalizaskysaregrey©2017

 

If I could do anything….

We become so tied down by commitments, family, jobs, friends, finances, mortgages and rents. Then there’s the contracts we’ve signed up to like the internet, mobile phones and utilities. Doctors, opticians and a number of other health services, when you think about it there is an awful lot that keeps us tied down into one place.

Have you ever thought what you would do with your life if you could do anything? I have and if I could really do anything, I’d leave that rat race and travel, I’d set out to experience the world and all the wonders it has to offer.

I love the sun and nature so I’d head in the direction of the sun, not the desert, I like to see flowers grow but somewhere warm. I like to be near water, so I’d be inclined to head to the coast or somewhere with lakes. I need lots of vegetables as I’m not a meat eater, so somewhere with an abundance of fresh veg.

I can’t do without the internet, it’s a shame but it’s true, I like to blog, I like to read and I like to keep in touch. I need internet access of some kind. I would also like to be near a town or city, much as I love nature, I love or need to be near people, they fascinate me, I could people watch for hours. Sometimes I make up stories on the people I’m observing, I wonder sometimes how close I get!

I love architecture, love to wonder around city streets and visit churches, temples and places of worship. I’m really interested in different religions and what I can take from them and love philosophy and philosophical conversations. I’m not fabulous at languages, a little French and Spanish but not enough to philosophise so hopefully some English speaking people too, although I’d certainly make an effort to learn a local language. If I was going to work an English community or visitors would be handy too!

I have flat feet and like open toed shoes like flip flops or Burkinstocks to knock about in, I wear trainers and higher heals for nights out.

I like art, music and dance although I have two left feet. I like to watch dance, listen to buskers and musicians and visit galleries.

I travel quite lightly, but I want a hairdryer and toiletries and clothes for fat and slimmer days. Okay maybe I’m not such a light traveller but I’m better than many.

I want a camera before I go anywhere as up to now all my photos are taken on my mobile phone, maybe some photography lessons too. I need to take my laptop along for blogging, working and Skype and most importantly keeping in touch with my son.

Oh, I’m terrified of sharks and jellyfish and only paddle because of this, but would swim in a lake. The sea draws me because of the infinity I feel looking out to the horizon, I love to watch the sun rise and fall.

Now with this in mind, where do you think I should go, I’m really interested in your suggestions because I have incredibly itchy feet. Oh and by the way job offers are welcome too 😉

lizalizaskysaregrey©2017

1000 Posts!

I’ve made a thousand posts,

on skies are grey.

Usually one post at least,

but I try every day.

Quite regularly I might

take a weekend away,

it worries me then

if my followers will stray.

But I’ve stuck to the plan,

I write on my blog.

I get lost in my writing,

it’s not a hard slog.

Sometimes it’s just pros,

some poetry too.

I just love showing,

photography to you.

So thank you for following,

as this keeps me going.

I know that you do this,

in my stats it is showing.

I’m excited to be here,

at one thousand at last.

On to the next badge now,

I’m a blogger at last!

~

A silly poem to celebrate my achievement, but seriously, thanks for following 🙂

lizalizaskysaregrey©2017

Asking for Collaboration

I’ve just tried to build a new website on WP and would welcome your comments, advice, guidance.

https://restingintheheart.com

I’m not technical and I’m trying to save money by building it myself. I’ve built up a number of clients already but would also like to get some more.  I intend to post daily on the new site ‘From the Heart’ which will be similar to ‘Nature Lessons’ on here and would welcome followers.

I really look forward to hearing from you.

I think this works for the daily prompt word – Collaboration“>collaboration

None!!!

I’ve relocated, moved away, 

my new life has begun.

Thou I’m missing internet, 

you see as I have none.

My laptop cannot connect, 

cannot find the page.

I just keep right on trying, 

it causes such a rage.

Missing all my blogging pals, 

doesn’t seem the same.

I’m not sure I’ll be happy, 

until I’m online again.

I know I needed headspace,

time to sort out my life.

But this lack of any internet,

is causing so much strife.

I try connecting on the phone,

But the signal is so low.

I really have to count to ten,

or the phone I’ll throw.

Please bare with me, I’ll be back,

seven days until I’m on.

Seven days without connection,

then this issue will be gone!

~

None

lizalizaskysaregrey©2017

A Fat Blogger?

I spend so much time in front of my computer screen reading and writing that quite honestly I’m getting as fat as a house. I’ve always been a healthy weight, up and down but have always been able to buy my clothes in high street stores. Just lately I’ve noticed that my clothes are a little tighter, some don’t fit and I can only put it down to the inactivity of writing and working from home.

When I write, I’m absorbed in the moment, I remain focussed and stay still, okay my fingers move but nothing else, no foot tapping or fidgeting, my mind is with the words, I’ve left my body if you like. Reading is the same my focus goes onto the written word and my body is again left to do its own thing.

I’ve wondered if my body is expanding to remind me it’s here, if it is, it’s working, as if I can’t fit in my clothes I’m going to have to think about where I write!

I walk every day, I love walking and as you know if you read my blog taking photos of nature, but I’m not doing enough in terms of exercise if it’s just a couple of miles a day against hours on the laptop.

I’ve decided I’m going to give standing up while I work a go, I’ve read some offices do this now with standing work stations. So I’ve set my Mac up on a kitchen counter and I’m going to complete my work there. Any telephone calls I have to make connected to work will be made walking around too.

This will be if anything an interesting experiment, maybe my writing will be rubbish, maybe I won’t get enough work done but it’s worth a try as I’m not giving into the flab!

Does anyone out there have any experience of this or any wise words of wisdom?

Liza (written while standing ;-))