So what does a breakdown feel like,

does it start off first with the shakes.

When you struggle trying to function,

as you don’t want to make a mistake.


Then pretending that you’re coping,

will those spiders inside go away.

When you wake tomorrow morning,

will it ever be just another day.


And what can you do to calm down,

if your nerves have a mind of their own.

If you forget the most bloody obvious,

like the telephone number of your home.


As you burst into tears on the doorstep,

that’s if you ever get near to that door.

Will it ever really come to fruition,

that you won’t get bashed anymore.


Then there’s those positive mantras,

about all being part of lives plan.

Sing them and pray to the heavens,

but it won’t really change a dam.


So what does a break down feel like,

might it be confused with a cold.

Will honey and lemon help here,

as she’s prepared to do as she’s told.



I’m just thinking about different emotions today, I’m fine 🙂


Trauma Outcomes 

The rumble of thunder surrounds me, 

it’s surfing over the swell.

That disaster will hit is inevitable, 

timing I just never can tell.

My hearts racing ten to the dozen, 

it’s out of sync with the clock.

What started this crescendo of madness, 

is hidden now and forgot.

Nerves are standing to attention, 

anxieties entered the room.

I need some space for reflection, 

before the big band goes boom.

But now the suns up and rising, 

butterflies cover the sky.

Happiness is pushing its way in, 

for reasons I don’t quite know why.

I shouldn’t drink it won’t suit me, 

I’m drunk on tea can’t you tell.

The waters calm and serene now, 

no sign of the earlier swell.

I sing like I’m Nancy Sinatra, 

the stage a place I am free.

I need to pull in theses emotions, 

so the person you see’s the real me.

Turn off the black and white television, 

sit down in an armchair of beige.

Practice taking on what is bad news, 

without getting into a rage.

I need to pull in my behaviour, 

work on my reactions for sure.

Understand that actions have consequences, 

before I make any more.

But that’s the thing with experience, 

it visits without being called.

I’m a product of what went before me, 

turning me into this ball.

Sending Love


I’m sending love across at you, it’s painfully clear to see.
That you need help, to be wrapped up, by someone more than me.

Your terrified of looking up, your posture tells me so.
I guess your really struggling and wanting to let go.

We’re in the doctors waiting room, and there’s another three, 
I hope they call you in soon, you can go in front of me.

I want to cry at what I feel, your pain is clearly deep.
Your eyes, your face, the whole of you, it makes me want to weep.

I pray that you will smile again, I pray you will survive, 
I know this isn’t any way for one to be alive.

I hope the doctors helpful, that he doesn’t send you off,
without the building blocks you need, to hold yourself aloft.

I wrote this after visiting the doctors this morning.  I saw this guy there and my heart went out to him.  I was thinking if everybody who reads this attempt at poetry sends him a bit of love it might just help.  If it creates a picture in your mind, then maybe with love, it can create healing and recovery for him.   I live in Brighton, Sussex so imagine him there and send your love.  Thanks x