From the Heart
I’m waking up, I’m breaking through
I’ve reached this place with courage.
Not got straight in on a privilege pass,
or jumping on a special carriage.
The path has been so rough at times,
I’ve needed loved ones near.
The breakthrough came for me in time,
sure wasn’t always very clear.
But I’ve got up to the half way point,
now I’m needing to solider on.
Because those lessons never end,
they just go on and on.
Dreaming is on my mind at the moment, I’m drowning in dreams. Not drowning in the physical sense but immersed in the detail. My dreams are magnificent and confusing at the same time, they lift me up high and leave me feeling desolate and out of touch.
I’m a big ball of emotion so it makes sense my dreams would reflect this. There is lots of water in my dreams, still and powerful, rough and deep, waves crash against land as if trying to destroy it. I am the land and the water is my emotions I would imagine.
I dream in colour, beautiful colour that dive into and become. Colours also represent my moods and I bring the colours back to my waking state. Morning moods are representations of my dreams. It can take me a while to adjust to the day.
I dream of big houses, mansions and temples with many rooms. Ceilings that never end and lead to somewhere out of reach. I think I am exploring my mind, chamber by chamber. The water I spoke of is always around the walls or I cross it to get inside.
The people I love visit my dreams, those no longer here and those I’ve lost touch with. We don’t necessarily talk but we understand each other, we speak with our minds or telepathically. I don’t feel my mouth moving but I look out of my eyes I think, I don’t see myself but I feel myself.
I learn things in dreams that I find to be true when I’m awake. Some things don’t make sense to me immediately but might later. I’m fascinated by my dreams at the moment, the in between is my waking hours. I so look forward to going to bed at the moment, I’m finding it’s a festival of discovery.
Laying in bed in the early hours, I felt a pressure on the end of the bed, something touched my foot. I didn’t look, l wanted to, but know through past experience nothing is there. The longer I keep my eyes closed and just lay there, the longer it lasts.
Last year when this happened the pressure moved around for a while, it felt similar to a cat padding through the covers. This was shortly after I lost my cat and I wondered at the time if it was my Eris coming to tell me she was okay.
I don’t know what this pressure thing is but do know it has only happened in the last couple of years. I had two huge bereavements in 2014 that rocked my world. This activity has only happened since that time.
It doesn’t happen when I’m wide awake but also I know I’m not asleep, I’m in that in between state on just waking. I think it is a message from someone. Last night it felt like someone sat on the end of the bed, gently brushing against my feet as they did.
I know this would terrify some people but I find it comforting. I don’t say anything at the time as I explained as I don’t want it to end, so I thought I’d share it as a confirmation of the experience.
Does anyone else have similar things happen to them. Is it our traumatised minds or something else, something we don’t really understand.
Courage and strength come with perserverence.
Finding these qualities comes through our endurance.
We go through life constantly coming up against difficulties, find ourselves in situations where we need to gather all our strength to succeed, achieve or reach our goal. Life has a way of presenting these obstacles just at a time we don’t need them.
We endure these periods by going within and somehow finding the strength to continue, for however long it takes and sometime this might be years. Through our ability to find this strength in times of need, however hard it appears to be at the times, we develop an inward strength, one that will see us through our lives, strengthen our spirit and see us along the way.
Courage is developed in the hard knock school of life. It is a quality that comes through the experience and endurance of pain. It is gained through love that is not returned but still given out, it is gained through loneliness, poverty, grief and loss. Courage is gained in a multitude of ways but it builds us and makes us into the people we are today.
Courage strengthens the spirit and when we strengthen our spirit we are more able to live as our true selves, not afraid of what others think of us, happy to accept criticism but at the same time be able to speak our own truth. We are no longer sheep and if necessary we can stand firm and face any opposition.
So whatever lessons are ahead of us we have to see them as such and know we can endure them and strengthen our spirits and become better, stronger, people.
My heart lies in my stomach, it is where I feel despair
Deep within my solar plexus, it is from there I care
I feel a pull to warn me, somethings changed inside
It drags me from my very core, a train I have to ride
Love lives deep within me, reminding me each day
Of happiness and sadness, like when he went away
Emotions that reside way down, rise and fall like tides
Crash against my inner walls, when sadness does arise
On joyous days it bubbles up, tickling and spilling out
A volcano erupts inside of me, of that there is no doubt
So knowing where my heart lies, gives me responsibility
To recognise the power of love and provide tranquility
As I sit here in the autumn sun,
I compare it to my life.
It’s weaker now and gentle,
no longer shines as bright.
It strokes my arm with tender care,
with warmth it touches me.
That it joined me on my journey,
is plain for all to see.
It’s dimmer now but just as true,
its rays are full of love.
As it sets, before it dies,
it paints joy in skies above.
None of us get through this life on our own. We are born into a family, make friends and travel through our years here with those we love. Some come, some go but we should never forget or underestimate the support and love of those souls that walk the path with us.
~ Liza
Silence is where I find myself,
where the true authentic self lives.
A restful place of peace and love,
it is there my true heart gives.
Gives way to the spirit I truly am,
connects the observing one.
In silence I go to make sense of myself,
mend scars I’ve left undone.
I go deeply into just being,
where fears and complexities lie.
Find harmony in a natural state,
transform like a butterfly.
The fragility of being, a fundamental truth
people break as well as hearts, they do not only bruise
The soul so very fragile, with so much of life unknown,
shatters into splinters, when real love is not shown.
Sitting quietly in the garden, taking the beauty in.
A symphony of nature, captured peacefully within.
The dances of the butterflies, the sparrows on the bough.
A wonderful concerto, that’s how nature takes a bow.
……………
lizalizaskysaregrey 