Author: lizaaitken

Mother, daughter, sister, cat owner/slave. Thoughtful about life and trying to make it worthwhile.

Manchester

lizaaitken

I remember my first concert, special memories were made that night.

The children caught up in the terror attack in Manchester last night will carry very different memories and these memories will be carried throughout their lives. Some of these children will have been injured, some critically. Some would have witnessed death in the most devastating way, been carried or run from the building in absolute horror or found themselves in hospital. Families were split up, parents looking for children and children looking for their mums and dads, I think we all recogniser the horror of that. Some concert goers thought the noise was the loud bang of a balloon going off, there had been balloons in the show. Those that got away will always remember the day that death nearly stood next to them.

Concerts will never be the same, they will be full of memories, they will bring fear. As adults these children will not want to allow their own children the pleasures of attending a concert. Crowds will always hold a hidden threat, it could always happen again and this will be passed on through generations.

Memories were made last night, but not the memories they had hoped for. Some of these children will be traumatised for life, they will suffer terribly and their mental health will be damaged. The child that went to their first concert last night will carry that with them always, but not in the way they had hoped.

Love for the children caught up in the terror of Manchester last night, love for their families and anyone else that had loved ones caught up in the horror of the event. Love also for those that don’t understand me, may you never experience such devastating trauma yourself.

lizalizaskysaregrey©2017

A Space in Time

lizaaitken


I found the space I needed, 

though I didn’t know it at the time.

A space to clear my thoughts away, 

a space to give me time.

I didn’t know I was searching, 

it quite took me by surprise.

I thought I needed people near, 

such space I’d never tried.

But I’m finding myself in openness, 

time is mending my heart.

I know that life will wait for me, 

be waiting when I start.

I’ve found a little space in time, 

a safe space for recovery.

I now know that I’ve needed this, 

just took me a while to see.

I thought this place would be boring,

that people I’d need to find.

But I’ve found a piece of heaven here, 

it’s so gentle on my mind.

~


lizalizaskysaregrey©2017

Adrift

lizaaitken

Is it to be adrift without purpose,
or is it a soul that’s set free.

Fewer possessions to hold me down,
occasionally I wish it was me.

Fly through life just riding the wind,
to settle for moments in time.

Unattached to any emotions here,
I’m believing it might be fine.

To ride the current, the swell of the tides,
to follow the path of the moon.

Without restrictions connected to me,
that’s how I think I would bloom.

~

Adrift

To be Free

lizaaitken

IMG_5008

I’m drifting now,

I’ve been released

and I’m free to find my way.

I’m now unmorred,

the ties are cut,

each days a brand new day.

I’m travelling along new pathways,

I’m cutting through any mess.

The universe set me along a new path,

that’s after I passed it’s tests.

I’ve found freedom,

I’ve been set free,

those tides finally turned.

I’ve paid all my debts and I’m feeling good,

I haven’t time to burn.

The direction I travels unchartered,

yet the vessel I’m in is strong.

I’ll make the best of what I’ve got,

I’ll find the right place to belong.

~

Unmorred

Precipice of Tomorrow

lizaaitken

I’m on the precipice of tomorrow,

but I’m no longer looking down.

I’m looking out into the distance,

to way out there and all around.

I know that I’ve climbed up high

it’s still much higher up ahead.

On the precipice of experience,

with my wings about to spread.

~

As I climb the final steps,

I know I’m on the right path.

Knowing that I have this right,

this time it’s going to last.

I don’t need to look behind me,

I know just what I left.

Served a purpose for a while,

but didn’t stand the test.

~

I’m on the precipice of life,

I’m nearing all my dreams.

I just found the biggest secret,

life isn’t what it seams.

Life is what you make off it,

the chances that you take.

Life is good and bad you see,

full too with mistakes.

 

Precipice

Fearing the Inevitable

lizaaitken

Nothing is ever really as bad as we think it might be, fear distorts reality and we often build things up into something much bigger than it actually is. The truth is, fear isn’t helpful, it won’t prevent something from happening and sometimes it even brings things to a fore sooner because we aren’t functioning well enough to cope with the inevitable.

The things that make us fearful are often things we can’t change, we see them coming and they terrify us, but they won’t stop because we know about them. Sometimes the best we can do is be still and accept what is happening until the reason becomes clear, because all changes are meant to be.

We will often cling onto what we know, what we feel comfortable with, even though it isn’t actually doing us any good. Fear prevents us from letting go and moving on because we are afraid of what we don’t know. When I think back on times I have been fearful in life, quite often it’s because I’ve been stuck in a rut, I haven’t been particularly happy but haven’t done anything about it.

Most of the things I have been fearful about in my life have been my greatest lessons, I have lines on my face I didn’t need because I spent too much time worrying about the inevitable. Everything that has happened to me has brought me to where I am now and I don’t regret a single thing.

We are all fearful in certain ways, because we all love and loving has a fearful aspect to it. I love my son more than anything in the world, I want to keep him safe and I can become fearful about his wellbeing, however if I let this become out of hand I risk causing him harm. I can’t tie him down and lock him up because he has to live and living brings experience. Good and bad things will happen to him throughout his life as they have me and he needs the bad every bit as much as he needs the good because it’s the balance that creates the person he will grow into.

I can’t talk about fear without talking about death, my own death or the death of someone I love. I’m not afraid of dying but I would rather it be in my sleep, I don’t want to die painfully but I don’t suppose I have a choice. Being fearful of loss is natural but death is inevitable, we are all dying, we all die.

To fear loss is to fear being lost, what will we do without someone, where will the love go, how will we fill that hole, what will we do with the loneliness. If I’m not afraid of my own death, I shouldn’t really be afraid of the death of someone I love, it’s what happens to me afterwards I need to work on, but that said, if I meant to survive I will and I believe we certainly learn from the experience of loss.

The death of my mother was the biggest catalyst in my life, the most painful experience, but from that I grew. As much as I wanted my mum to stay with me, she couldn’t, she needed to move on and I needed to find myself without her physical presence. And much as I feared it her death changed me in ways I never thought possible, her death was inevitable and so was my growth.

~ Liza

lizalizaskysaregrey©2017

Take Time

lizaaitken

Taking time to sit a while,

to contemplate what’s real.

It does’t take an awful lot,

it’s only time that we steal.

Focus on an empty mind,

let thoughts just fall away.

Fall like petals on the wind,

as those branches sway.

To find a space of stillness,

so vast and full of peace.

Just focus on a quiet breath,

let any movement cease.

This time is of the essence,

as so crucial in our lives.

Taking time to just be you,

to rid our lives of strife.

~

IMG_5714

lizalizaskysaregrey©2017