What do you Think?

I saw my grandpa on the night he died, he was standing over me looking down. I was terrified at the time, hid under the covers until morning, praying that God would make him go away.

I loved my grandpa dearly, but knew his body had been taken from the house, I knew he was at the undertakers. I never mentioned it to my Gran, his partner of over fifty years. As an Irish Catholic I think she might have washed my mouth out and certainly wouldn’t have believed me. I didn’t offer to stay another night and any times I stayed following that night, I always hopped in with my Gran. I never saw him again but have often been told he is with me.

I believe in life after death, you’ve probably gathered that by now if you’re a regular reader of my blog, but I have so many questions. One of these questions is, if a body has been disposed of, how can it look the same? Sometimes I believe, or have heard, they might look younger, healthier, happier. But why do we see them as they once were when they have left their bodies. Is it the energy we recognise, our brain doing the rest, or is it them, does a spiritual body have some sort of form?

After my mother died, I sat up for nights looking for her, I was sure she would appear, I’d asked her to come back but she didn’t. I think maybe my childhood fear closed the shutters. I think I have prevented myself from ever seeing anything quite like this again.

I’ve seen other things, people I don’t know, but not in the same way. Although they might look like they are in the room, I know they are in my head, it’s different. After my cat died she jumped on the bed a few times, the last time I kept my eyes closed hoping she would stay and she padded all around me before disappearing again. I think she came to let me know she was okay, just as my grandpa did.

I’ve seen a Buddhist Monk and a Big Warrior sort of guy, I don’t know them. I see or sense people who aren’t really there, can’t be seen by anyone else, but never like grandpa.

Sometimes when I’m in bed, I’m tickled, touched I think. It’s like a stroke, the most gentlest stroke, sometimes like a spiders web across my face or hand.

Now for reincarnation, I’m a firm believer in this too. I regress people and take them into future possible lives. I’ve been regressed and seen the men and women I have been. So if we live so many lifetimes, why do we look like the last if we come back like grandpa? I’m not sure I make sense, let’s try again. If I have one soul, but many bodies, surely they are all part of me, so I would look like a mixture of them all. Or is it my soul would look like me to anyone who knew me in this life, but different if I was visiting a past life in France?

It’s all bloody fascinating, I’m intrigued but suppose I’ll only ever know for sure when I get there and that’s if I’m right. I’ve sort of come to the conclusion it’s all energy, we recognise the energy and our human brains do the rest. The people I don’t know, like the monk, I put his energies into the form I recognised. I’m not sure from where, maybe a different life. Or maybe my soul, knows him, maybe my soul recognised him as a monk.

No I’m cheating a bit on the daily post today, although my grandpa was my grans partner. I haven’t got a partner to chew this over so I though I’d ask what you think. It would be great if someone could answer my questions or at least give them a go.

This is how my mind works when I’m procrastinating. I should be packing for my house move on Tuesday not working out the whys and wherefores of life and death!


Life After Death – A Poem

There is no life after death

if the idea of life is to live.

Yes, we exist in another space

but a kiss we cannot give.

Without a form of any sort,

we will float like a new idea.

Contemplating past mistakes,

of all those wasted years.

The body burnt or buried deep,

and no longer necessary.

We’ll go back to original source,

to go right back to many.

Separation far behind us,

realising we are all one.

We’ll exist in everything,

within the brightest of suns.

With the ego now far behind,

as it won yet another day.

Led us down the falsest path,

we followed what it had to say.

So there is no life as we know it,

all emotions will cease to exist.

So make the most of those senses,

in living a life full of true bliss.







So much understanding, so many doubts…

I’m full of understanding on occasion and then again on others, I’m full of doubt.  I spend a lot of time thinking of what it’s all about, why we are here and our true purpose, what happens afterwards and if there is in fact a life after death. These questions, for me are some of the biggest questions, because we don’t know the answers for sure and I’m guessing we won’t or are not meant to.

Religions, philosophers, spiritual leaders and many different ways of life try to point us in the right direction, but it is left for us to reach our own conclusions. I like to listen and consider these different pointers, it fascinates me and I’m constantly left in a state of wonder.

I believe in life after death, I believe that consciousness continues in another form and science is starting to agree, but I’m not sure where it lives. Maybe it’s all around, maybe in the air that we breathe in and out each day, maybe it’s here but our eyes don’t see, or maybe in another dimension altogether.  I’m confused and doubtful on occasion and on others I instinctively know I’m onto something. I have always had a firm belief in life after death but as I don’t know for sure what happens to that life, I’m also left with doubts.

I believe in the spirit, consciousness, call it what you like. I believe the spirits that have moved on can communicate through and to us if we are open and listen. Only this morning somebody told me to go put a permit on my car, I did and there was a warden standing there ready to put a ticket on it. Okay this could have also been my own sub-consciousness, but if it was, it spoke in the middle of another train of thought completely and saved me a parking ticket. Then there are those things I’m told I don’t unconsciously know, work that out, I can’t!

There are no clear answers in life and I believe it is good to be sceptical, I worry about those that instantly believe in everything they are told, I’m interested in new ideas. I mean, we once thought the world was flat, but I like to consider these ideas in my own time, think about what they say to me. If we question something it means that we give it our attention and think about it, that has to be healthy.

I doubt we will get the answers, just yet anyway, because we are not ready for them, we are still working on ourselves, some people more than others.  Some people dedicate their whole lives to spirituality, to understanding purpose and looking for enlightenment. If I was in charge I might think they needed to know, but then I think again and doubt myself, because if they were told all the answers they would feel a responsibility to share it with everyone else. You see there are no clear answers, just lots of questions and a good few doubts!

Daily Prompt – Doubt


Cut Flowers

Cut flowers continue to live in our homes, they continue to open, turn towards the light, drink water, smell and metabolise.  My flowers last longer when I talk to them and stroke their petals, weird maybe but fascinating all the same.  There is probably a perfectly logical scientific explanation for this, but I like to think it’s a reminder that life goes on.  

~ Liza







In my last post I wrote about waiting for a sign from someone I had lost, it was within the last hour. I posted it and sat for a minute not really thinking about anything.  Something caught my eye from the window and there sitting in the window box was the most beautiful bird, looking straight at me.  It was only a matter of moments and it flew off to the tree across the street, I still felt it was looking at me.

I’m no ornithologist but I didn’t recognise this bird, it was beige with blue markings on its wings, tail and around it’s face, it was quite simply beautiful.  It flew past the window again a couple of times and then soared off into the distance.

I’m waiting hoping it might return, I’m asking for it to return and have my camera near incase.  But if it doesn’t come back again I really think I had the sign I was asking for 🙂