Tag: Humour

Letter to the Young Man at the Call Centre

lizaaitken

Dear Young Sir

I’m sorry I didn’t have time to talk to you today, you see I have a life to live and don’t have time.  I didn’t have time earlier today, yesterday, the day before and I won’t be free later either.  You see I’m not interested in anything you are trying to sell me, make me aware of or any money you think you can get back for me.

I would prefer it if  you took me off your list, but you appear to have missed that part of our recent conversations.  I know you have a job to do, but like you so do I and I can’t get on with it with constant calls from you.  I realise you can’t end the call, I know you probably have a big brutish supervisor breathing down you neck but I’m afraid I just can’t help you.

If you were a reader of my blog you would realise that you present me a challenge.  You see I constantly go on about sending love into the world, I’m big on love, but I am struggling so hard to love you.

I don’t like to judge either, I talk about us all coming from different backgrounds, all having different experiences and I know that yours is probably pretty dire.  I realise some call centres are set up in the most disadvantaged of places and to secure that job took a hell of a lot.

I struggle because when I put the phone down on you I think about the consequences of my actions, because I don’t know what they are.  Am I depriving your family of food or are you just a young chap, living at home with mum who couldn’t get a job anywhere else.  Whatever the circumstances I feel for you, but I’m afraid I really don’t need what your offering.

I thought I would write to you, tell you how I feel and say sorry for how quickly I ended the call.  I’ve tried listening politely, I’ve tried putting the phone down on the side so you can feel your being listened to, I have told you the owner of the home (me) has sadly departed, emigrated and has even been arrested for violence but you still persist in me calling back.

Please know after every time I put down the phone, I send you a thought, you could call it a prayer if you like.  I don’t want you to feel rejected and I’m sure there are parts of your personality I would really like.  Who knows in another lifetime we might have been friends.  But for now, could you please do us both a favour and scrub me off your call list.

With greatest admiration

Challenged

P.S. I wish you every success in securing a job elsewhere.

 

Fish – DP

lizaaitken

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I went fishing for the moon tonight,

it did not shown its face.

The moon down here was hidden,

from the human race.

So much for a super moon,

I hear an extra one at that.

All we got was sea mist,

or was it fish and chip fat.

I’m extremely disappointed,

I thought it would be huge.

I think the moons not playing fair,

in fact I’d call it rude.

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016

Late response to the Daily Prompt – Fish, I wrote it last night after searching for the moon

Vegetal -DP

lizaaitken

Oh, that wine was just so vegetal,

because of unripe grapes.

Picking that bottle from the shelf,

I made a huge mistake.

The smell of my back garden,

was not my desire at all.

Held up closely to my nose,

my face screwed up appalled.

It did not add complexity,

there was certainly a major flaw.

I poured it down the kitchen sink,

put the bottle outside the back door.

via Daily Prompt: Vegetal

Primp – DP

lizaaitken

Today I don’t feel like primping,

unless you want to Skype.

Today I’m going to stay indoors,

I’m avoiding all the hype.

I’m keeping on my slouchy leggings,

with a baggy T on top.

I won’t be putting on lipstick,

I’m not pulling out any stops.

To primp I’d have to give a dam,

I don’t feel like that today.

So I’m staying in my bubble

and the world can go away.

via Daily Prompt: Primp

Second Thoughts – DP

lizaaitken

It’s always the last moment,

that I have my second thoughts.

The minutes have reduced,

from two, to one, to nought.

Then I worry I’m too late,

to ever change my mind.

For I deliberate too long,

it’s just that I’m that kind.

If you ask me if I’m certain,

I never really know.

You’ll see me going back and forth,

do I want to go.

So make my mind up for me please,

tell me what to do.

So when it’s time to cast the blame,

it won’t be me but you.

*

Daily Prompt – Second Thoughts

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016

 

 

Irksome – DP

lizaaitken

I’m getting somewhat irritated,

you just go on and on,

I want to say it right out loud,

your stories are to long.

I’m finding it exasperating,

when I’m listening to you.

Your boring and uninteresting,

oh, what is a girl to do.

If you could be less awkward,

it wouldn’t be as grating.

Then again not too much,

it might look as if we’re dating.

*

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016

Daily Prompt – Irksome

Sincere – DP

lizaaitken

A moment of your time please,

I want to make it clear

If I comment on your writing,

I’m being quite sincere.

It means that I have read it,

turned it over in my mind,

I comment because I mean it,

not just trying to be kind.

So if I’ve made some comments,

it is me being true,

on poetry and other art, 

the stuff that you like to do.

It means I spent some time with you,

that’s what I like to try,

Sometime you make me laugh out loud

and then you make me cry.

*

In response to the Daily Prompt word – Sincere

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016

November

lizaaitken

 

 

 

 

 

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November your far too early,

I’m not ready for you to call.

I’ve not sorted out my sweaters yet,

I didn’t need them in the fall.

November your not welcome,

you bring December nearer,

And all the expense of Christmas,

which is always a little dearer.

So November please just go away,

send back your friend October.

I think he’s rather special,

I wish he would stay over.

 

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016