From the Heart
~
.
To let go of what doesn’t serve me,
will one day set me free.
No longer fearful, I’ll take flight,
without those cares, just me.
I’ll settle where my fancy takes,
and stay a little while.
I’ll dance around joyous folk,
those that help me smile.
Again I’ll head along my path,
absent of guilt or pain.
In the universe I’ll travel far,
until I return again.
I wear a coat of many colours, a chameleon as such.
I chop and change my outside, don’t wear the same face much.
I’ve sat on many cushions, woven through with many tales.
Comfortable just for a while, then comes my time to sail.
I wear a hat then cast it off, as like my mind I change.
Each day a new beginning, we will never have again.
Ridden on a donkey’s back, driven a new car.
Miles and miles I’ve trodden here, travelled very far.
Transitioning through lifetimes with a book of many tasks.
I am a different person now, I have so many masks.
But then to step inside of me, the makeup is the same.
There will always be an essence here, when I come back again.
So watch me very closely, as through this life I go.
We will meet again sometime, but only we will know.
There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don’t you?
Rumi
I believe in and feel that candle in my heart, flickering in waves, never going out. The candle is constant, there throughout and cannot be snuffed out. I can connect with the candle in times of quietness as I meditate, watch it as it dances inside and speaks to me. It does not speak in words but through emotion, it is my life-force it will not be extinguished while I live. After that, I don’t know, I would imagine it will light elsewhere, where I am because it is connected to my soul.
There is a flower too, it’s opening more everyday, I believe it is at the root of me but reaching up as it grows and flourishes, as I grow with it reaching out to the possibilities that I am presented with. The flower is love and truth, it is fed through the love that passes through me, that I give out and receive. The flower does not need nourishment to survive but any that is provided makes it even more beautiful.
There is a bird, I’m watching it, it’s purple and it’s ready to fly…………
We have to look at all aspects of ourselves, good and bad, lightness and darkness. We are made of all these things and have to acknowledge the not so good parts as well as seeing the beauty.
Some of the dark parts are buried deep inside, snapped off and buried somewhere along the way. We might not know about these things, they might not be of this lifetime but they follow us and arise at times like a dark fog blocking our way forward.
So how might we do this, firstly acknowledge they are there, however small we have splinters of black. I’m not saying that if you have worked on yourself you are not a beautiful bright soul but the fact that we are here in this heaviness indicates we might still have some clearing to do.
I hope I do not offend, when I was told I had dark things buried I was not amused in the slightest but I knew it was the truth. Acknowledging it, so can help release our darkest aspects and bring them to the light.
I fear not being loved, being unlovable, I always have, however much love is lavished on me. Why, is it because I have not been worthy of love in the past, pushed it away? I don’t know but I have to find the worthy loveable me now so I don’t repeat this again. I’m also materialistic, I hate this aspect of me too and I know my coffin will be only big enough for me, why do I need so much shit around me. I have to start loving me more and stuff less!
Anyway upwards and onwards into the light 😉
In response to the Daily Prompt – Darkness
You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul ~ Swami Vivekananda
How well do you know your soul, how often do you stop and listen to your true spirit and know that it speaks the truth, has you best interests at heart. It’s taken me a long time to get to a point in which I think I’m getting to know the true me, the eternal soul that I am, outside of my physical self.
I invite her into the room sometimes to sit with me, I call her and she comes. She has become a friend and confident, she listens and guides me and it’s always in the right direction. If I truly open up to what I think my soul is telling me, I’m usually right because it comes from my heart centre and not through any logical thinking. Not that it is always the direction I want to go in, but usually where I’m meant to be. Sometimes through difficulties that propel me forward and sometimes through experiences that encourage growth. Whatever, when I look back I can’t see that I have been pointed in the wrong direction. That’s not to say that I haven’t made mistakes, ignored her and made up my own mind, but I suppose that was another lesson I needed to learn.
She is eternal, she has been around forever, long before she joined me on this journey here, she is magnificent. Why would I not trust her, she knows the answers that I seek, she has lived the experiences that I live now and she has more love inside of her than I could ever imagine.
All I have to do to connect with her is put any thought out of mind, close my eyes, connect to the stillness and see what comes up for me in this place.
Give it a go and let me know if you meet her.
What does a flower tell me
As opens slowly, gently, finding itself
What does a flower tell me
As it stretches up towards the sun
What does a flower tell me
As it gives color to life
What does a flower tell me
As it reaches the climax of its bloom
What does a flower tell me
As it dances in the wind
What does a flower tell me
As the petals begin to drop
What does a flower tell me
As it gracefully bends in age
What does a flower tell me
As it feeds the earth in death
There are many boats on the ocean. Some of these are small boats, big enough for one fisherman and then there are the larger vessels, such as ocean liners carrying hundreds of passengers. All are at the control of the tides and the stars and the crossing is not guaranteed.
Some of these boats will last an age, they are the friends of the ocean, built well to work with the water and blow with the wind. The Ocean is in control and the vessels sail and reach their destination with its permission alone. There is not a boat that can control the water, the ocean is the constant thing, the boats come and go.
The ocean’s soul is made up of many who have crossed it. The souls that live in the ocean, those that work with the ocean or encounter it, add their experience to its great depth and vastness.
I think the ocean is a lot like life, we get through it with luck and permission, not by trying to control it.
It doesn’t really matter what branch we are on because at the very end of each branch the sun rises and the moon sets.
Today I met myself on my way down the hill. I was retracing my steps and thinking about where I could have gone wrong on the way. I’m not sure if I was unconsciously trying to find myself or if we just bumped into each other by accident, but it happened as destiny does.
Both rounded the corner at exactly the same time, it was as if the planets were aligned. I was preoccupied and lost in thought and she was in a hurry to meet him. The moment stretched like an elastic band, pulled and ready to burst. I saw her touch herself to make sure she was still there. We were both surprised, her more than me I think as surprises lessen as life goes on.
I studied her, the fresh face, the thick, dark curly hair and the air of excitement that she carried. She was in love, it was not long after they had met and she still wore that look of nervous expectation. I remembered the day well, today the relationship would be sealed. I looked and remembered how long it had taken her to decide what to wear, I also knew what she had in her overstuffed handbag. I smiled, I wanted to tell her he wasn’t really worth it, that in the end she would find she didn’t really know him but I couldn’t do that, she would have to find that out herself. She would have ten years of happiness with him anyway, well most of it happy and she would have our beautiful child. I envied her the opportunity to hold our baby once more, the freedom and the life she had in front of her. She had so many choices to make, so many experiences to grab. I thought back to the day when I had been standing in her shoes and tried to look out of her eyes and find myself, I must have missed this moment last time. Funny how many things we miss as we rush through life getting to our destination.
A thought jumped into my mind, if she hadn’t seen me when we were here before, what else could change, what if she made different choices. I wanted to know what would happen if she changed the course of events that brought me here now, where would I be if anything changed. I looked down at myself and prayed I wouldn’t dissolve into nothingness. I wanted to tell her how to do it right, how to keep me alive, but I knew I couldn’t. I didn’t even remember all of it, life was a whirl back then, full of ups and downs. I wanted to tell her it would be okay, that the tears of her lessons would dry and she would realise that she had her whole life before her. I wanted her to meet him, he was a big stepping stone to our future, but again I stayed silent.
She looked at me, my thinning hair, dyed to hide to the inevitable grey and extra pounds I carried. She was such a willow of a girl if only she knew how beautiful she was, if she could only see the light that shone out. I thought of a number of outfits I could have put on today that might have left a better impression, I didn’t want to scare her. I imagine she thought I had let myself go and I wanted to tell her how hard it was to remain slim, I wanted to let her know I was only a size 10/12 after all not that much bigger in the scheme of things, just softer in places. I didn’t utter a word, just stood a little taller and pulled tight on what was left of my stomach muscles. She had a cigarette in her hand and I knew another twenty Marlborough Red in her bag at least, I desperately wanted a drag. I hadn’t smoked now in years but that moment I was a smoker again.
I thought of what I could tell her, asked myself what lessons she needed, but realised she would probably laugh, after all I was as old as our mum now and when did she ever listen to mum. I wanted to tell her about all the people that she shouldn’t waste her time on and those that would be with her all the way. I wanted to tell her how her family were truly her real friends, but she would have to find that out herself. In fact she would have to find it all out herself, as that is what would take her up the hill I had just walked down from. I understood, that it is the challenges that are before her, that will mould her and create the me of today and I couldn’t help her with any of it.
Neither of us had spoken, we just stood transfixed staring at each other in that moment. I smiled gently at her and without a word I walked away. I hoped that my smile conveyed the love I had for her, the love that I had for myself.
I didn’t turn around as I walked back up the hill again, I knew at some stage she would follow me.
Every one is looking for a someone to point them in the right direction, right? We all know there is something more out there or something deep inside of each of us, available but just out of our grasp. If only we could find the way, become enlightened, awaken, reach nirvana, perfect ourselves and win the ultimate prize.
Spirituality is a big and booming industry, with new pathways created daily by gurus who promise big answers. Each and every one of these, has the right answer and at a cost but what is money when enlightenment awaits?
Why the search, why are so many of us desperately seeking the truth? Will it will make everything good in our lives, just maybe we won’t have to come back and do it all again if we get the answers right this time! Maybe we want to find a connection to those that have passed, there are probably million and one reasons, which are different for each of us. One of the main reasons for this search, I think, is fear, belief that there is something else that we are missing and fear that missing this will leave us incomplete. Fear that there isn’t really anything else and a deep hope that there is.
I think the reason these spiritual models and pathways have so many followers is because people feel they get more from the trappings of a group, ritual in community is powerful. Iconography is also important because people find it easier to believe if surrounded by icons of belief, crystals, crosses, Buddhas and the like, something to worship and hold on to.
I believe the best person out there to assist us with our pathway here is our own true authentic selves. No one else in the universe has the key to our own inner workings or understanding of our souls experience than what we have ourselves. We and only we hold this key, and this key will only turn for us. I feel we have to reach a place where we connect with pure love, where we find ourselves to be pure love, but thats only my own feeling, I am still on my journey here and have a lot still to discover.
What I do know, I’m not sure how, but I know only we, truly understand our paths here, even if forgotten for the moment or buried deep in our subconscious, I think it is our fundamental task in life to realise the purpose of our stay.
I also feel that in order to grow we need to ask questions and explore what comes up. If we have aspirations to connect with anything higher, it is essential to talk with like minded people here, have philosophical discussions and search for what feels right. Talk to spirt, talk to our higher selves and talk to the trees if they really help us find the answers. To grow here we need to find our own truth, question and build upon that truth until we meet our own understanding.
I don’t want to fit in with any particular teaching and don’t believe it’s right for me, I want to learn about them all and take from them what feels right. I suppose I could be described as eclectic in my beliefs and that feels right for now, others may feel safer connected with a group. I don’t think any of us have the answers, the puzzle would be solved if we did, and therefore the purpose of our stay here met.
Faith should be redefined, faith is moving, living and acting to what we know to be true, allowing for change and being open to new ideas. Seek inwardly, though meditation, through connection with nature, through whatever assists. Seek outwardly, keep our eyes open, listen and open up to fresh ideas.
I believe we are all spirit, all souls and have always been this way. We live here now in our earthly bodies but we can, if we look find our true selves. We could start by looking at ourselves, looking in the mirror, looking deep into our own eyes and beyond and asking ourselves if we are acting as best we can, surely thats the purpose. Do we act on a daily basis as the spiritual people we want to be, do we follow our own calling.
Lastly live the fullness of life that we can on earth and enjoy the journey, while watching and waiting, but not by being to busy searching for the destination that we miss the beautiful moments of each day.
lizalizaskysaregrey 