Tag: life purpose

My Passions

lizaaitken

I read this fantastic post by Kayla at essencentral  It inspired me to think about my own passions. In her post Passion and Purpose she asks a number of questions so I thought I’d have a go at answering them.

Please give Kayla’s post a read, it’s truly inspiring!

What puts a smile on my face?

People, my family and friends and people in general.

Relationships are important to me, I like to communicate and not on a superficial level either. I love deep conversation with like minded people. I like to explore emotions and I like to help others work out what’s meaningful, I like to find purpose to life. Sometimes we have to talk to bring out what’s inside and talking to others who understand is the best way to do this. I like to help others work things out, it makes me happy, it helps me feel worthwhile. I’m empathic and work with energy, I’m also able to connect authentically as a human being which is essential in building relationships. I like to look after people, I like to show others how to look after themselves or others. We are made up experiences and have amazing stories to tell, I like to help people tell their stories.

Writing, it’s the outlets for my thoughts, how I work myself out and make sense of my life or the world around me. I find writing both healing and inspiring, it’s a way to tell our stories.

Nature and the lessons it teaches us, the messages of growth and transformation, the beauty of it. I am always out in nature, it feeds me and if I’m out of sorts at all it heals me.

Memories….

What do I find easy?

Communicating, I like people so it’s easy for me. I’m not afraid of my feelings either, I find it easy to express myself, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m not afraid of what others might think.

I’ve spent the last 20 years working with people traumatised by their experiences in therapeutic settings. I’m able to work in situations of crisis, I’m empathic but able to separate myself from the trauma and not take it with me.

I’m practical, I’m able to break things down into something that’s easier to manage and understand. This has been helpful in managing groups and individuals but also in direct work, helping others work out what might seem muddled and insurmountable.

I’m not afraid of public speaking, in fact I quite enjoy it even if I have to harness a bit of fire by putting on my lipstick and high heals!

I like to look after others, feed them, cook for them, care for them and make them happy. I like to cook, I find it easy and my friends seem to like my food, I’m usually the designated cook!

What sparks my creativity?

Love, nature, kindness, fresh food, colours, beauty and people and the words they use.

Stories, I think we all have a story to tell and I love to think about the story behind something. Walking in nature I like to think about what it’s saying, what is the message it’s giving. The world around us teaches us so much if we take the time to look and listen.

What would I do for free?

All of the above but it would be nice to be paid 😉

I will always help people, lends an ear, help them work out their problems. As a child I was called Liza the Advisor and it’s sort of continued although I won’t interfere, people have to want help. I don’t believe in telling others how to live their lives.

I write every day, it’s my therapy and I have to cook to eat!

What do I like to talk about?

Love, emotions, philosophy, spirituality, health…..

I like to talk but I don’t like to waste my words, idle chit-chat isn’t for me unless it is leading somewhere deeper. I like meaningful conversations even if we might be searching for answers forever as I love to philosophise.

I’m into spirituality and love to talk with like minded people, explore and learn new things. I’m constantly thinking about my purpose, where I’m going and if I’m on track, it’s important to me.

I love to talk but I think silence important too, we can discover ourselves in silence. To sit in silence with another can be incredibly powerful. Look into each others eyes and connect as souls.

~

Thanks for the questions Kayla, now for my passion plan 🙂

lizalizaskysaregrey©2017

Meeting Me

lizaaitken

Today I met myself on my way down the hill.  I was retracing my steps and thinking about where I could have gone wrong on the way.  I’m not sure if I was unconsciously trying to find myself or if we just bumped into each other by accident, but it happened as destiny does.

Both rounded the corner at exactly the same time, it was as if the planets were aligned.  I was preoccupied and lost in thought and she was in a hurry to meet him. The moment stretched like an elastic band, pulled and ready to burst.  I saw her touch herself to make sure she was still there. We were both surprised, her more than me I think as surprises lessen as life goes on.

I studied her, the fresh face, the thick, dark curly hair and the air of excitement that she carried. She was in love, it was not long after they had met and she still wore that look of nervous expectation.  I remembered the day well, today the relationship would be sealed.  I looked and remembered how long it had taken her to decide what to wear, I also knew what she had in her overstuffed handbag.  I smiled, I wanted to tell her he wasn’t really worth it, that in the end she would find she didn’t really know him but I couldn’t do that, she would have to find that out herself. She would have ten years of happiness with him anyway, well most of it happy and she would have our beautiful child. I envied her the opportunity to hold our baby once more, the freedom and the life she had in front of her.  She had so many choices to make, so many experiences to grab. I thought back to the day when I had been standing in her shoes and tried to look out of her eyes and find myself, I must have missed this moment last time.  Funny how many things we miss as we rush through life getting to our destination.

A thought jumped into my mind, if she hadn’t seen me when we were here before, what else could change, what if she made different choices. I wanted to know what would happen if she changed the course of events that brought me here now, where would I be if anything changed.  I looked down at myself and prayed I wouldn’t dissolve into nothingness.  I wanted to tell her how to do it right, how to keep me alive, but I knew I couldn’t. I didn’t even remember all of it, life was a whirl back then, full of ups and downs. I wanted to tell her it would be okay, that the tears of her lessons would dry and she would realise that she had her whole life before her.  I wanted her to meet him, he was a big stepping stone to our future, but again I stayed silent.

She looked at me, my thinning hair, dyed to hide to the inevitable grey and extra pounds I carried.  She was such a willow of a girl if only she knew how beautiful she was, if she could only see the light that shone out.  I thought of a number of outfits I could have put on today that might have left a better impression, I didn’t want to scare her.  I imagine she thought I had let myself go and I wanted to tell her how hard it was to remain slim, I wanted to let her know I was only a size 10/12 after all not that much bigger in the scheme of things, just softer in places.  I didn’t utter a word, just stood a little taller and pulled tight on what was left of my stomach muscles. She had a cigarette in her hand and I knew another twenty Marlborough Red in her bag at least, I desperately wanted a drag.  I hadn’t smoked now in years but that moment I was a smoker again.

I thought of what I could tell her, asked myself what lessons she needed, but realised she would probably laugh, after all I was as old as our mum now and when did she ever listen to mum.  I wanted to tell her about all the people that she shouldn’t waste her time on and those that would be with her all the way.  I wanted to tell her how her family were truly her real friends, but she would have to find that out herself. In fact she would have to find it all out herself, as that is what would take her up the hill I had just walked down from. I understood, that it is the challenges that are before her, that will mould her and create the me of today and I couldn’t help her with any of it.

Neither of us had spoken, we just stood transfixed staring at each other in that moment. I smiled gently at her and without a word I walked away. I hoped that my smile conveyed the love I had for her, the love that I had for myself.

I didn’t turn around as I walked back up the hill again, I knew at some stage she would follow me.

The Universe Speaks

lizaaitken

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and have a feeling that I understand all the universe has to offer, it makes complete sense and I wonder at how it has taken me so long to understand. It is like a long awakened memory, that has been pushed down so far its feels fresh and new.

I can only compare this feeling to something menial like solving a difficult maths problem, building a flat pack wardrobe without the correct instructions or tallying end of year accounts. What seems to be an insurmountable problem, suddenly makes sense and fits into place with ease. Have you ever wondered at what took you so long on a job well done, thats the feeling I have when I wake up in the middle of the night with the certainty that I know all thats humanly possible to know.

I’m so smug, elated, overjoyed. I can tell the world where to find what it has been searching for so long. I don’t need to write it down, it is so clear in my mind, perfect, perfect, perfect. I lie there for a while thinking about how I can use this gift, until I drift back to sleep again.

I wake up, it has gone, I’ve lost it. I know it is in my mind somewhere buried deep in my subconscious but for today it’s lost. I have this dream often and yet I haven’t written it down despite the notepad by my bed. I know I will have the dream again, it is my calling the universe is communicating with me. I know one day I will remember what it has to say because otherwise the universe wouldn’t talk to me.