Our own life stories can open us up and heal us, they open the gateways to our souls and ultimately help us discover the real self within. Have you ever tried telling the story of your life to yourself, imagine you have no recollection of events or any previous knowledge. How would you explain the more difficult bits, those muddled bits, so that you can fully understand yourself.
We talk to ourselves all the time, what should we have for dinner, where shall we take the dog and all sorts of useless nonsense but very rarely do we ask ourselves who we are and where we have come from. Our own stories are the recipes for what makes us whole, the ingredients that go into pot that make us who we are. It’s not all sugar, we know there’s a little bitterness in there too, we have to uncover it all to understand.
My story is long, there are many episodes, it cannot be played out in one session. I might start at any part, it does not have to run in sequence, just as long as I learn from it when I’ve played it through. I want to be able to understand my own story because that is what makes me who I am, what is the point in our lives if we don’t gain something from them. Some of my issues, for want of a better word, have changed as I’ve been able to see events for what they actually were and therefore change my response. I’ve always been the abandoned child, from looking back over my life I can now see why I went onto marry a man just like my father, that he also abandoned me isn’t any great surprise and when I look at it now, the kindest thing he could have done for me. Some things I have have come to realise have been false memories, a lot in fact as when we can’t make sense of something we create it, going back over these memories I have been able to watch from a different perspective.
Have you ever read something you just have to keep on reading again, a poem or the chapter in a book, well I think in a way, that’s what our life should be like, we need to be able to go back and ensure we have fully understood the manuscript, make sure we got the right message. Do we really understand our own life stories as well as we understand our favourite piece of literature or film, it’s a shame but most of us don’t because other peoples stories are sometimes easier than our own to digest.
I like to find a space, when I say space I mean somewhere safe and quiet and sit with my memories, meditate maybe and walk through the story. Sometimes I imagine myself as an actor, studying a scene, I might give myself marks out of ten. I come back with a better understanding of myself now, I think it’s good to review our own behaviour, how else will we change if it is necessary.
What if I told you it was possible to go forward too, watch your future self, see your best possible self, learn from them and bring ideas back to this moment. Would you give it a go?