From the Heart
I am an island of myself
but can I survive without you
I know I need your warmth and love
and all the physical bits too.
I need the sunlight on my skin
to hear the sounds of love.
Nourishment you give to me
like the rain from up above.
I am an island of myself
but need the sea’s around
My waters run into the sea
and we are forever bound.
I am going to drink this cuppa, and then I’ll meditate
Or maybe after I clean up, the house is such a state
I really should go deep inside, connect to the inner me
But if you saw the house right now, it’s not a sight to see
I’ll light a candle, draw the blinds and settle myself down
Now looking at the ceiling, I’ll take the cobwebs down
I really try to meditate, believe me please it’s true
But I always find there’s something else that I have got to do
Our trauma is not obvious,
so everyone can know.
It’s usually buried deep inside,
too far to really go.
Jumps up when we are unaware,
and slaps us round a bit.
Dives back before we notice,
it’s always far too quick.
We feel it in our stomaches,
we feel it in our heads.
Never really leaves our mouths,
there’s nothing to be said.
If we knew what it was made of
we would have it in our net.
But moments we remember,
are easy to forget.
And so we keep it buried,
while it’s silent and asleep.
The monster of experience,
the one we have to keep.
Palpable tension here in the room
It will have to break and hopefully soon
The air thick with anger, you can hear a pin drop
It’s ugly and maddening, I do hope it stops.
I head for the door to get our of this place
One step at a time, they’re still talking race
The crowd is thickening, the mob is not right
I run from the room and into the night
I can’t stand this anger, all over the place
The yobs have come out and they’re a disgrace
Get off your high horses, get yourselves in control
The country needs peace, that’s not how to roll
There’s no room for racism, it’s ignorant see
Not in my name, it could never be me
We’re all human beings, under one sky
I despair at your hate, I have to ask why?
Do you feel your superior, is that the truth
Did your parents tell you, was it under your roof
Or was it from school, where true bullies grow
Beware what you put out, the things that you sow
Being a mother is the best thing I’ve done,
I was put here on earth to be my boys mum.
It comes with such happiness, heartbreak and joy,
I am incredibly proud that he is my boy.
But then there’s the worries that come with the job.
From the moment of birth, a hotline to God.
To please keep him safe, let him be adored,
to experience love and never ignored
And that’s how it goes, being a mum.
One minute worry, the next lots of fun.
But I wouldn’t trade this job for my life,
for the love of my boy, I’ll deal with the strife.
Thinking of my son, who is actually twenty six and flying off to New York today with his girlfriend. I want him to have the time of his life but I won’t rest until the plane touches down safely. It’s all in the job you see!
Sadness, it took you when you had more time ahead.
Coldness of your skin, as I tucked you in bed
Laughter we avoided as it might make you cough
Every moment painful, the same with my loss.
Raynaud’s phenomenon, that turned hands to stone
Oxygen cylinders all over all our homes
Drugs I can’t spell, piled up to swallow
Everything hard but you wouldn’t wallow
Reminders of you are not all this disease
Magnificent moments, that put me at ease
Always my mum………
It’s world Scleroderma Day tomorrow, today would have been my mum’s birthday.
Water drops from my eye and blots at the ink
I stare through my tears and don’t overthink
It’s your day again, the day you were born
June twenty eighth and I can’t help but morn
I know that your near, I believe that always
It’s just harder for me, as it’s your special day
Happy Birthday mum, I really love you
I know you are dancing with legs you can use
The oxygen gone, no longer required
You can float through the air without being tired
The tears are of sadness because of your pain
But also of joy because we’ll meet again.
In response to The Daily Prompt – Water
She does not remember her children,
she has also forgotten her name.
Daily, her loved ones visit now,
though she’ll never be quite the same.
Questions stare out of her eyes,
that she can’t connect to her lips.
She can no longer style her own hair,
so it’s often held back with clips.
She screams when they wash her hair,
she cries for to leave it alone.
She would rather stay in her nightdress,
and just wants to be on her own.
Stains appear on her clothes,
that would never have been there before.
She’s forgotten she doesn’t eat meat,
cause the arguments out of the door.
She’s deprived of the mind she once had,
it’s all muddled and in tiny bits.
She’s forgotten what she was saying,
as soon as the words leave her lips.
So I bless I still have my mind and
I love her as much as I can.
I can’t talk about deprivation,
while I still visit Aunty Anne
In response to the Daily Prompt – Deprive
A simple fence to keep you out,
would be enough for me
To separate our wrong from right
and everything could be.
I’ll help you put it up one day,
when we have time to spare.
Then happiness will dance with me,
when you are over there.
Until that time, lets play a while,
so everyone can see.
That we are just magnificent,
in our pen of you and me.
So you think you understand me,
and you know what makes me tick.
Well I’d say that you are very wrong,
with assumptions far too quick.
Yes, I am an inspiration,
while muddled and confused.
I really haven’t worked it out,
to say I have would be a ruse.
Understanding me, you see,
I’ve been trying for so long.
To think you have it sussed in days,
is clearly very wrong.
So put away the ideas you have,
and start again with me.
I’m deeper than you think you know,
and more than you can see.
lizalizaskysaregrey 