From the Heart
I know your weak it’s clear to see,
you’d rather bury your head.
But I’d respect you so much more,
if you spoke to me instead.
I believe in those that are honest,
not in those who make up lies.
I really need to let go of this now,
cut at those well worn ties.
I wish you well as you go on your way,
as you’re no good for me now.
But I send love and hope behind you,
well I’m trying hard anyhow.
~
lizalizaskysaregrey©2017
Another friend left here today,
she won’t be coming home.
She’s gone to pastures yonder,
where the good souls roam.
I didn’t get a chance to say,
what she meant to me.
It doesn’t really matter now,
I suppose that she can see.
It’s her daughter that worries me,
her grief is so brand new.
She’s numb with shock it’s tragic,
not sure of what to do.
And the grandson who found her,
tried to keep her alive.
Bless his heart, I mean it,
oh, how hard he tried.
Then those family arguments,
that come at times like this.
When people find another place,
to put the things they miss.
So my friend if you’re watching,
believe me they’ll be fine.
They are suffering the loss of you,
they’ll be needing time.
lizalizaskysaregrey©2016
It is both beautiful and incredibly heartbreaking to witness someone you love die.
Beautiful as it’s the last thing you can do on earth for someone you love deeply. To hold their hand and give them permission to leave, even though every ounce of your being is screaming for them to stay.
Emotions between you are shared as if you share the same soul. At this time there is not need for many words, you feel the way together. You feel peace and serenity in a silence between you and an acceptance and understanding that death will shortly join you.
As death comes a small part of you goes along too, the person who remains here will never be quite the same person who walked into the room.
I don’t think I need to explain heartbreaking, it speaks for itself. I have found time does make it easier, it never leaves you but you learn to live again.
I wish to compare you to a flower. A beautiful, gentle creature radiating out into the world, with colours so deep, so pure, so animated it is impossible to pass you by. Waves of silk like petals falling gently to the soft mossy ground around your feet. Creatures setting to drink and bask in your glory, feeding from your love.
But I also see you are tired now, weary of the world and stooped and frail. I can see your pain, your struggle to hold yourself above the rest, to hold your head up. Your weighed down with life, your shrinking now, wilting into a gentle shadow of your previous glory.
Tired now of looking up at the sky, tired of standing tall, of depending on yourself. You lean forwards, the weight of life weighing heavy and pulling you downwards. I see the scars from the burns of the suns rays, burnt and looking for coolness of the moon.
Taking nourishment is difficult for you now, maybe you believe you’ve had your fill, maybe the stiffness of your body, the roughness in your stem prevents you. Just a sip my love, just wet your lips, one more try before you sleep.
I’m in shock, it feels like family, David Bowie died without telling anyone he was ill. I suppose he told his real family but he didn’t tell the world, those of us that think he is connected to us on some profound level and our loss feels personal. David has always been around throughout my life, like an older brother, younger father or cousin, uncle or very special friend. David has been singing songs for me and mine since forever. We sung them too, at the top of our voices to karaoke while drunk and silently in times of great pain, he was with us at those most poignant of times. He shaped our youths, he gave us ideas and introduced us to great works of art and thinkers like Burroughs, he allowed us to believe. He had something to say and that something was very important, will we see the world in the same way again. David gave us strength and belief that anything was possible, he was weird and wonderful, beautiful and sexy. I love to put on Bowie, knowing every word or thinking I do, strum of the guitar and blow of the sax. David was a musical genius, trendsetter and musical rebel and he will be missed by the world.
When my mother died we played Jean Genie as the first song at her wake, it felt like he wrote it for her, it spoke of her to us. I felt that David knew my mum, knew all of us, I think he actually did meet some of the family. I’m sure my uncle Tony, made some of his guitars back in the day, when Tony was still alive, although I think it was Tony Visconti that picked them up and I’m absolutely sure Bill met him on the club scene. Simon’s claim to fame is the day in the recording studios when Bowie walked past and said to him ‘nice shirt’ and my cousin was born on his birthday so there has to be a family connection.
When people die, I like to have their music, know what they want at their service, I have a note section on my phone called ‘Dead Songs’ where I keep my friends favourites. I do have a ‘David Dead’ section but that’s another David, a friend who doesn’t sing very well. We knew my mum’s and we knew Bill’s it was important for us to get it right. Mum chose the exact recording of Judy Garland singing Closer live at Carnegie Hall and Bill, Stan Keaton’s Intermission Riff, of course they had four more each all perfect on the day. David released his own death songs three days before he passed, his last album Black Star, he was a poet, his music and lyrics move me, especially today. David wrote his own epitaph, he was incredible he will be missed.
There is an outpouring of grief today, social medial and TV and Radio have covered it all day. It seems to me watching and listening to the news today an awful lot of people are crying. David inspired generations, he gave us hope. Some think it strange that we grieve for a man we didn’t even know, but we did know him through his music, we knew that quiet, sure and brilliant artist. There is a party in heaven today, or maybe somewhere on Mars as David has gone home. He is rocking with angels tonight and I think it is probably very colourful, none of your white and serene. He has friends there to greet him and we will see him if we look to the stars and believe.
Goodbye David, you will never really truly leave us.
lizalizaskysaregrey 