The Influence of Experience

What influence does our experience have on how we live our lives now, what difference does this have on how we manage and function day to day? How do the wounds of the past weep into our present day?

Wounds when not treated, continue to weep and seep into our lives, we can cover then up with a plaster but they will remain open until they receive the proper care. Like wounds our feelings fester and grow until we are able to whip off the sodden plaster inspect wound  carefully and give it the time and care it needs.

If we don’t recognise and face our true feelings, those buried at the core of our being, born from experience like  pain, fear and shame, they will continue to exist and rule who we are now, how we view the world around us and how we live our lives each day. These feelings will resurface time and time again until we reach a place in which we are able to face them honestly, acknowledge them in truthfulness.

In looking at our experiences, we should do so in truth, we have to see each feeling for what it is, not cover it up, or make it into something else. Ask what is at the root of the feeling, like who abandoned me, why has this left me fearful? We need to acknowledge the parts we played in events and get in touch with the feelings or pain and sometimes deep rooted anger.

It’s not easy acknowledging mistakes, selfishness, ignorance and stupidity, but we have climbed to where we are now up a staircase of challenges littered with questions, we have made decisions that aren’t always in our best interests, or the interests of others.  It is not easy to acknowledge our mistakes but for me it’s the next step, for others it might be the helping hand they need right now.

I don’t think there are many who can say they have always walked a righteous path and if there are I question their honesty.  I question if they have in fact ever really faced themselves and embraced all of themselves for what they are and what they have been.

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016

Drowning in the Detail

I’m drowning in the detail,

it’s all too much for me.

I’m not feeling very capable,

just going from A to B.

Stress has taken residence,

an invite wasn’t sent

Oh but it gets worse than that,

it isn’t paying rent.

It’s climbing up the curtains,

blocking all the doors.

I find it through the letter box,

and in the kitchen draws.

It’s bigger by the moment,

it wakes me in the night.

Anxiety it’s causing me,

it gives me such a fright.

I’ll pour myself a brandy,

that should calm me down.

I’ll close my eyes and pray to god,

an answer can be found.

*

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016

Without Hope

I’m feeling very frightened, 

I am very much alone.

I’m still willing you to call me, 

I’m sitting by the phone.

I’m feeling like I’m falling, 

without the wings to fly.

The dreams I had are fading now, 

it’s time to say goodbye.

Darkness is approaching fast,

I watch the fading light.

Hopelessness is rising, 

drawing closer with the night.

Do I really ever matter,

is anybody there.

I have to snap right out of this,

but did you ever really care.

I’m just considering my value, 

to anybody now.

Come dawn maybe I’ll rise again,

If the gods allow.

*

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016

Fear

There is nothing in this world to fear, as fear is only  of the mind.  Fear can wrap itself around you and hold you in its clutches so you incapable of moving forward.  When fear arises in you connect to your true conscious self, the presence deep inside of you that knows you are safe and knows you as eternally powerful.

~ Liza 

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016

 

 

 

Doubts

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On occasion I feel very small, of little consequence,

see myself as minuscule and maybe just pretence.

Now and then gigantic, my spirit soars right out,

energised with belief you see, oh how I soar about.

Sometimes I look back into my eyes, wonder who I am,

with vacant gaze and little depth, I’m probably a sham.

Occasionally my eyes look back, talk to me somehow,

I dive in deep to find myself, as at times they will allow.

I’ve really only myself to blame, wary of moving on,

of reaching a place of clarity, where I should belong.

I must choose my pathway, keep myself on track,

being in the moment, focused and not looking back.

 

Fear



It starts off in the pit of me, so deep you cannot see

It grows like bramble thick and dense,  that twists around a tree 

It strangles every aspect, it distorts the painted scene

It screams out of the chasm, it howls from every dream

An evil, twisted and monsterous face that interrupted life

Fear tears me up and spits me out, cuts me like a knife

I have to overcome the horror, the battle I  will fight

I will conquor all this madness, it has to be alright

Murky Waters

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I’m not sure about that voyage now, the pound has sunk too low

The vote has caused this drift you see, the treats might have to go

It’s really very frightening, tomorrow will be brand new

Batten down those hatches, we will have to see this through

We need to steer the ship of us, into waters that are unclear

Paddle carefully, take our time and put away our fear