Cake

I made a cake today, I made it with spelt flour, it was a fabulous cake.  No big deal, cakes are easy, but I haven’t made one since my mum died two years ago, so it was a bit of a big deal for me. I used to make my mum a cake every week, this was only a couple of years before she died.  Prior to that, I didn’t make cakes.  I’m a good cook, but a savoury cook, not having too much of a sweet tooth myself.  Anyway, I’m getting off track but I made cakes for my mum.  I used to stir in love, as I stirred in that love with every turn of the spoon I knew I was keeping her alive.  Mum loved my cakes, I agreed with her, I could make bloody good cakes.  Anyway today I made a cake.  I spoke to mum while I stirred it, I told her she would like it but realised she did’t need cake anymore.  Cake would weigh her down, mum needs to fly.  Anyway the moral of this story is you can put love into anything, you just have to decide to, that and I’m missing my mum.

Daily Prompt – Missing

Party!

 

IMG_1317

Boxes wrapped up with bright red string,

cream cakes for sharing hidden within.

Strawberry, chocolate coffee and lime,

 so hard to choose when one at a time.

Big custard trifle in a bowl of cut glass,

the cherry on top I’ll save until last.

Sandwiches cut into triangles too,

minus the crusts and easier to chew.

It’s my birthday and I’m older again,

no guests to join me, Oh, what a shame!

I’ll eat up this spread all on my own.

Washed down with fizz – diet blown 😉

Daily Prompt – Cake

 

Cake – DP

IMG_2027

 

It’s my birthday on Thursday, I’m not having cake this year, I’m not because I’m going to Barcelona for a long weekend instead!

I struggle with birthdays, always have since I was an adult as they have never been as special as my mum used to make them when I was a child.  I was so special on my birthday, the world revolved around me.  Mum would bring fantastic boxes of cream cakes tied up with ribbon home from London’s West End, where she worked.  These cakes were the best you could get back then and we didn’t only have one.

As an adult I started to unconsciously sabotage my own birthday, I just didn’t think it would be any good, I would be special enough or anyone would really care, so I put obstacles in the way and true to my predictions I was usually miserable.

The last few years I have gone away with one of my best friends for the weekend and it’s been grand!  My philosophy is you can’t age if your out of the country!

Last year I was dreading my birthday  because it was the first birthday since my mum passed away.  In the morning I put up the card mum had bought me the previous year along with my other cards.  I was off to Nice the following day but on the day I didn’t have any plans apart from seeing a couple of girlfriends for lunch.  I just took it easy and it was a lovely day.

The expectation had somehow gone with mum’s passing, she took my fear of birthdays with her.  When you loose someone you love, nothing will really ever be the same again and it puts thing into perspective.  I had a lovely day because I didn’t set myself up not to, I just took it in my stride.

My case is packed for Barcelona, I’ve put mum’s card safely in my case to put up on the day and I’m going to have a lovely long weekend away 🙂