Kismet

Walking through town today I was stopped by a man in the street.  I hate to admit it but I immediately apologised for not having any spare change, I didn’t, I was being honest.  This is awful I know, but it is indicative of living in a seaside town.  There are lots of people down on their luck and it is common to be asked for spare change.  I do give, I’m not heartless but I do choose whom I should to give to, I just don’t have that much to go around.  I often give to the same people, I don’t know if this is right or not.  There is the happy guy who stands outside Waitrose, I know he probably isn’t happy but he greets you like an old friend.  There are others who touch me and if I have change in my pocket, I do try and help out.

Getting back to today, when the guy stopped me, he said it wasn’t money he wanted.  Maybe because I had said I didn’t have any, who knows.  But he said he stopped me to tell me I was going to die on March 30th.  He said he was sorry, it had just come to him and he had to tell me.  ‘Well thanks for that’ I said and walked on up the road.  How strange, did he say that to all people without change or just me.  Now I don’t think for a moment he had a vision but it has got me wondering.

It gives me 18 days and March 30th is Mothering Sunday.  Great day for my son and my mother then, I better think very carefully about the words I put in my mum’s card.  Perhaps I should suggest celebrating the day before.

Now I know this sounds quite ridiculous but I’m starting to think of all the ways I could die and what I can do about it.  If I cut out driving on that day, that rules out a road traffic accident and that is one of the main contenders.   I won’t leave the house and that cancels out a few more.  My son wouldn’t poison me, well not intentionally and certainly not on Mothers Day, I wouldn’t think.  I don’t think the house is over any flight paths, unless they go off track.

I have always been a hypochondriac but even I can’t think of an illness that would kill me in 18 days.  The boiler needs checking, I will phone the gas board and get them round in the week.  Bananas, I won’t buy any to be sure there are no Brazilian spiders lurking.  I might mention the spiders to my neighbours too, just to be on the safe side.

Why didn’t I walk up another street yesterday, or get on a bus.  The man would not then have seen me and I wouldn’t be thinking of how to save myself.  He would have said the same to someone else who was too tight to give him any money.

I need to plan, like what I am going to do on March 31st.  After all I would have been cooped up the previous day and will want to get out.  I know, I will start planning my birthday party, not that I usually have one.  But this year I will be alive.

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