Do you travel back in time in your day dreams, do you ever visit your memories?
Memories are often precious because of the experience of feelings within them. The feelings of love, laughter and safety being the most powerful memories for me. When I think back on my life, the most prevalent memories I pull out are of laughter and love, the feelings of being loved and cared for and among friends and family.
I’ve had my ups and downs in life like anyone else, but the memories from those bad times are never as powerful as those of the good. For me I view the more difficult periods of my life in a detached state, I observe what was happening but don’t associate with the feelings as I survived them, they won’t occur again at least not in the same way because I have learnt from them. But to view those happier moments I’m back there, I step right in, I’m loved and laughing, I get every one of the feelings as if I am reliving the event.
I can close my eyes and walk back into my childhood home and feel as loved and safe as I ever was, when I do my mum is still alive, I can speak to her, smell her and hold her. I usually find myself sitting at the kitchen table and watching her as she cooks, at other times we might be on one of our long walks. Sometimes these dreams are so real it is as if I have crossed time, I observe the most intricate details, things I might have forgotten spring back into mind.
I can also see myself, if I try, desolate and lost after my husband left me, standing in a field in Spain, but as I look back, I’m looking towards the future across that field. On going back to what was at the time a painful experience, I take the knowledge with me that I survived and moved on, it was for the best and meant to be. So while the love never dies and can be captured at any moment the pain does in fact fade.
I can step into any moment because it is all part of me, I don’t hesitate, I know where I’m going. For me it only takes a slight change, a mediative or altered state to get there.
We can shudder at the thought of some of those more difficult events but are they the same as those wonderful memories? I bet if you give it a go, close your eyes and reconnect I think you’ll find that the good floats far more easily to the surface.