Waking Up

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Do you ever feel that you understand something but can’t quite put it into words.  The concept is bigger than words allow, it’s just a knowing and that knowing is magnificent in itself.  I think this might be linked to what is described as a sort of spiritual awakening.  You begin to live life with a different understanding, nothing has changed on the outside but somewhere inside of you, at the core of your existence, everything is different.  You are still living the life you always have, with the same friends and family around you, although something has shifted and that something, you can’t quite put it into words.

You look at everything differently now, you see things as if through fresh eyes.  Nature has never looked so beautiful, your drawn to art of all kinds and revel in dance, poetry and philosophy.  You blend with your surroundings, they become you, and you them, you recognise oneness. You switch off the television and cancel the papers, life is now full of questions that can’t be answered by anyone else.  Space and time for your self are an important commodity, you find silence to be almost musical and necessary for your peace of mind. You make new connections, people come into your life as if by chance but you know they are meant to be, others leave in the same way.  Love becomes real for what seems like the first time and you understand the immenseness of the feeling, to love is to live.  It becomes obvious that love is the answer to all of the problems in the world as love is caring, love is a prayer and thought for someone or something and has the ability, if given the chance, to conquer all ills.

I started to see and feel life differently after a couple of very difficult years.  I went through  a period of immense trauma including a number of significant losses, that pushed me towards introspection, I needed to know who I was, I was searching for purpose.  The shift wasn’t immediate it took time but I could never now be the same person I was once.  Of course there are elements of the old me, I’m still the same but my answers are different now.  I’m softer, I give myself time and I don’t aspire to be anything other than the best me I can be, I recognise myself as a student, I’m learning and have lots to learn.  I am as what can only be described as searcher, I’m looking for answers, but on the other hand I know some of these answers are too big for me to comprehend at the present moment.

People wake up in different ways, it’s usually a big event, a near death experience, a life changing event, whatever it is usually the breaking down of all we knew and relied on, the Tower in the tarot deck explains this well.  I’m not saying I’m awake, I’m probably far from it, but I’m on the path towards it, which is a much better place than I was in.

I don’t know why I wrote this today, I think I want to hear about the experience of others.   If your reading this and reach the end without zoning out, what does it say to you, how can you relate?  I’m having a deep Sunday here in the UK, whatever your doing I hope it’s beneficial  🙂

lizalizaskysaregrey©2016

Awakening

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My awakening has been subtle,

just creeping up on me,

it wasn’t so instantaneous,

where I could suddenly see.

More like a silent creeper,

entwining around my heart.

Now I find where I was blind,

I now know where to start.

I don’t feel that it’s enlightenment,

I’m just far more awake,

as in this physical body,

there’s decisions I should make.

I feel that I have woken up,

connected much more to source.

There’s still so much I have to learn,

that’s obvious of course.

Now that I have woken up,

I’m much happier with my life,

I can look from outside myself,

no longer drawn to strife.

I sit in silent contemplation,

on that, that I don’t know,

allowing feelings to come up,

to see what they will show.

When emotions come to surface,

I see what they will say,

acknowledge and allow them in,

for a while they’ll stay.

It’s really just acceptance,

of the soul I truly am,

there is no rush or certain time, 

in which I should understand.