It’s my birthday on Thursday, I’m not having cake this year, I’m not because I’m going to Barcelona for a long weekend instead!
I struggle with birthdays, always have since I was an adult as they have never been as special as my mum used to make them when I was a child. I was so special on my birthday, the world revolved around me. Mum would bring fantastic boxes of cream cakes tied up with ribbon home from London’s West End, where she worked. These cakes were the best you could get back then and we didn’t only have one.
As an adult I started to unconsciously sabotage my own birthday, I just didn’t think it would be any good, I would be special enough or anyone would really care, so I put obstacles in the way and true to my predictions I was usually miserable.
The last few years I have gone away with one of my best friends for the weekend and it’s been grand! My philosophy is you can’t age if your out of the country!
Last year I was dreading my birthday because it was the first birthday since my mum passed away. In the morning I put up the card mum had bought me the previous year along with my other cards. I was off to Nice the following day but on the day I didn’t have any plans apart from seeing a couple of girlfriends for lunch. I just took it easy and it was a lovely day.
The expectation had somehow gone with mum’s passing, she took my fear of birthdays with her. When you loose someone you love, nothing will really ever be the same again and it puts thing into perspective. I had a lovely day because I didn’t set myself up not to, I just took it in my stride.
My case is packed for Barcelona, I’ve put mum’s card safely in my case to put up on the day and I’m going to have a lovely long weekend away 🙂